


Conflict to conclusion

by Ayatsuki



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:01:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24042511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayatsuki/pseuds/Ayatsuki
Summary: Timur suffers from his mysterious past that haunted him for years. It now has resurfaced again and it's taking a drastic turn on his body and mind. Despite having some help, he still gets consumed from horrific nightmares to emotional distress. Maxim notices his sudden change of behavior, despite working from nothing, Maxim digs around to find the cause of Timur stress before the worse he assumes happens.
Relationships: Maxim "Kapkan" Basuda/Timur "Glaz" Glazkov
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	1. Conflict from inside

**Author's Note:**

> A few things. First, this is a two-shot, so this is the first half. Second, this is the first time I wrote for a different fandom outside the ship I normally write for, That being said, I'm not the best writer out, not even close. So i''ll apologize in advance if it doesn't meet your expectations :(. Also, there's a barbie reference somewhere, winner gets a prize of a written story of their fic in the future.

Tina and Sebastian returned to their rooms after a rough mission with the Spetsnaz, but neither of them were happy. They weren’t on the best terms with the Russians, but to put it bluntly, they absolutely hated them. Kapkan is too much of a lone wolf, Fuze is too chaotic with his bombs and Tachanka is too unpredictable to a point where they couldn’t tell if he was the enemy or ally. Glaz was an oddball, he was respectable at times, can work well as a team player and provide incredible rear support. It could be that he’s the youngest of the group so it could be that he has respect for them and knows not to start violence. But that doesn’t excuse his action when he’s around his unit, he seems to mimic their behavior almost, that puts a sour taste in Tina’s mouth.

“The hell is wrong with them!? Those chaotic Russians can’t even be civil during a fucking mission!”

“As much I agree Tina, you didn’t help by giving Tachanka a black eye…”

“Had to make sure they got the message, i’m sure that bloated giant dealt with worse than a black eye. I hope they never have us work with them again!”

“What about Glaz?”

“He follows like a lost puppy and acts like them, if he wants to copy them, then he’ll get clocked like them! Ugh, hand me an ice pack, please?” Sebastian smiled and tossed her an ice pack, Tina placed it on her head as she sighs in frustration. Her nightmare with the Spetsnaz is finally over, but she could feel it in her bones, her encounter with them isn’t finished yet. Timur was finishing wiping Alex’s swollen eye, Maxim was rubbing his still sore jaw from the hit he endured. Shuhrat went to the workshop to tinker with his gadgets, leaving Timur to check on Maxim.

“Damn bastards, if you’re going to hit me with the butt of a rifle at least hit my gut, not my face! How are your injuries?”

“I’m fine, I was really just rear support. You, Alex, Buck and Frost were the real...uh?”

“Tch, the Canadians…”

“Maxim, a lot of people don’t already like us. Please, try to control what you say.”

“*Sigh* i’ll admit, I do say a lot of shit. Alright, i’ll just lay down. It’s already late, best to sleep for our training session. Timur, do NOT stay up late painting again.”

“What, I don-” Maxim raised his brow in disbelief, Timur swallowed then rubbed the back of his head.

“Fine, I...won’t stay up too late.”

“I mean, you’re an adult. But you know how Alex gets when one of us is late.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sleep tight.” Timur put on something more casual before going into his private art room, the base was generous enough to let him have it as his art station. Floor colored with dry paint that dripped from the canvas or from him stepping on a fallen bottle, damp drapes littered on tabletops, complete scalpers laying around. You can tell an artist works or even lives here, Timur put up another blank canvas on his stand and got to work. Hours passed and the door to his work space opened and in came Grace. She was drinking water from her usual cup, wearing a yellow jacket with sweats and socks. She waltzed her way to Timur to see what he’s working on, he didn’t mind the company. His work space allowed visitors, anyone could come in to see what he’s doing.

“Timur, shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“I can say the same for you.”

“And I can say that you should try not to make such a mess on yourself.”

“What? It comes off when I shower.”

“At 1am?”

“...please tell me you’re joking.”

“Ha, you wished it was. What are you drawing?”

“This.” Timur showed her a photo he took well on their mission, well more on their free time. The scenery was impressive, almost unrealistic just from the angle of the photo. Timur managed to capture the essence of the area, that’s a skill that isn’t easily done.

“Wow, I didn’t know you were skilled with a camera.”

“I’m good with quite a few things, I wanted to get into music. I'll talk to Monika and see if she can help.”

“Hmmm, I have to say this. You using our actual names instead of our code names is quite respectable.”

“I’m trying not to dig the Spetsnaz name deeper than it already is, a lot of them actually nice people-”

“But you follow your unit, that’s the problem.”

“Well...I try to stay out of it-”

“Too bad your action speaks louder than your words.” Grace interrupted, giving him a devil-like smirk. Timur scratched his head and looked away, she was right. Him following behind his unit and copying them gives him a bad reputation, even if he’s trying to fix their name. He wants to start with the Canadians, that’s their biggest rough patch.

“I heard that Tina gave Alex a black eye?”

“And a cut on his nose, if you want me to be honest, he kinda deserved it.”

“What was the problem?”

“It was more on the field, Alex was too unpredictable and it messed up our cooridation a bit. They got into an argument and bam! Black eye.”

“Oh, I thought it was cause of something else.”

“Else?”

“You know...cause you’re Russians and…” Timur immediately knew what she meant, he coughed in discomfort before continuing.

“He isn’t like that...I hope, but Tina is...gay?”

“Well of course you wouldn’t know, but she is. *Yawn* anyways, better get to bed, you should too.”

“I will, see you, Grace.” She left his work space and closed the door, Timur sat in silence. He put down his brushes and twiddled his thumbs.

“(...Maybe I could…)” he couldn’t finish the thought, it only made him sweat. He took a deep breath and left back to his unit’s room, he saw Maxim and Alex in their beds sound asleep. Shurart was still gone, he must still be up in the workshop tinkering with his device again. Timur wondered why Maxim always scolds him about staying up when Shuhart does it just as bad as him. He pushed the thought away and went into the bathroom to shower and after a thorough clean, he headed for bed. As he rest, he couldn’t ignore what Grace told him. He closed his eyes and tried to forget, he clenched his aching chest as he struggled to sleep. Morning soon came and Timur woke up to find that he’s the only one in the room. He panicked, put on some training gear and rushed to the training room. He made it just in time but felt an unusual rise in temperature, he fixed his gaze in front of them and it was Sebastian and Tina giving the death glare at Maxim and Alex. Timur can see it in their eyes, Tina wanting to give Alex another black eye, Sebastian pulling a knife on Maxim and vice versa. If they could kill one another, they would probably take it. Then it happened, they got into another argument and Timur knew it was going to turn into a fight. He learned his lesson the last time he tried to break them up and it resulted in a blind punch from Buck and a swift kick from Alex. He went to one of the benches and rested his head on his hand.

“You look like shit.” A tender voice pointed out, Yumiko handed Timur a cup of coffee before sitting down next to him.

“Thanks, I had a rough night. But waking up only to see Maxim and Alex starting another fight, this isn’t my best morning.”

“I...can tell. Anyways, Grace told me she picked on you last night?”

“Wasn’t really being picked on, just a light talk if you asked me. Speaking of mornings, why are you up so early?”

“I was training myself, the others came and I felt the tension rising. I chose to step out and avoid it- uh oh…” Timur saw Sebestian push Maxim, Alex's threats to Tina was turning her red. Timur didn’t want to be involved, but this has gone too far. He rushed over and stuck himself in the middle and spread them apart.

“Oh look, their little puppy is here to bail them out!”

“Hey, don’t you say that about him!”

“Everyone, calm down, please!”

“Stay out of this, Timur!”

“No, everyone in Rain- ALEX!?” Alex pushed Timur to the floor, he got back up to prevent them from coming closer to each other. But it ended up the same as last time, but this time, Timur fell unconscious. Timur didn’t know how long he was out before waking up in the ER, his face was in pain. Gustave handed him an ice pack as he pulled up a chair next to Timur’s bed.

“Your morning is worse than any of my hangovers.” he joked.

“W-what...happened?”

“You tried to break up a fight between your unit and the Canaidans. From what Yumiko told me, you got hit by all of them, I would have stayed out of it.”

“I wanted to, but-”

“You didn’t want it to go any further, I get it. Anyways, keep the ice pack on your face and lay down and you’ll be fine.”

“Thank you, i’ll be on my way.” Timur left the ER and went to his work space, he needed some alone time considering this morning accident. Once inside, he stared at the clock, 5:21pm. He was out for hours, most of his day was wasted, so he’ll spend the rest doing what he loves. He tied the paint covered apron, put on some light and slow music and went to work but he had no inspiration. His mind went straight to Tina, he felt jealous. She was open about who she was despite her quarrels with his unit, something Timur wished he was. He removed his apron and headed out into the city. His uncle taught him that if he wants someone to talk, give them something that reminds them of home. So he went to an international market and found plenty of Canadian nicknacks and delicacies, he brought some and left the store. As he was walking, he heard someone scream in an alleyway. He rushed in to see what was the problem only to find goons surrounding a teenager with weapons, Timur dropped his thing and went in to save the child. Tina was ranting once again, but Sebestian didn’t mind, they both were upset on the same thing.

“FUCK THE SPETSNAZ, if they won’t be civil, then I won’t either!”

“*Sigh* I-I’m upset too and trust me, I wanted to lay one on them as well. But, if we keep doing this, we’ll both suffer major repercussions. To be honest, I just hope Glaz is doing alright.” Sebestian wondered, they heard knock on their door. Tina went over to answer it as she responded back at him.

“Screw him, if he wants to be their dog, let him. If I see one more Spetsnaz face i- oh for fuck sakes!” She opened the door to see Timur kneeling with his head down, like he was begging something from her.

“Who is it?”

“Their dog, what do you want?”

“...To apologize-”

“You can’t speak for you unit-”

“And I know that...but I came here for myself, please? I...didn’t come to start a fight, I promise.” Tina looked at Sebastian to see what he’ll say about this.

“Well, he is one of them but he’s the one I tolerate.”

“Hmmmm…”

“Um...I brought these for you two.”

“What are these?”

“My uncle told me when I was little that if you ever wanted to get someone to talk, you bring them something that reminds them of their home. So, I went to the international market in the city here and bought you two some things.”

“D-dammit, you didn’t have to do all of that. Come in before someone sees you.” Timur stood up and came inside, he showed his face with a fresh cut mark on his right cheek. Sebastian saw that he was also holding his aim and saw bits of blood on his sleeve.

“Jesus, what happened!?”

“A kid was in trouble in an alleyway, some scumbags were holding knives and shit at him. I had to help him, got some nasty hits but nothing fatal.”

“Fatal my ass! Sebestian, get me the medkit.”

“Catch.”

“Thanks, take off your jacket.” Tina poured some rubbing alcohol on a clean cloth and started to wipe Timur’s wounds, she then stitched them up and placed a patch on them.

“There, all better. You should have gone to Doc before coming here.”

“I know, but if Doc sees me, he’ll surely mention it to the others. Then it’ll be bad if they see me here with you two, they’ll just accuse you of harming me.”

“I guess, so what do you want?”

“Well..I was painting last night and Grace stopped by, we were talking and you came up, Tina.”

“Why?”

“Because...she mentioned about you being gay-”

“I am.”

“...” Timur paused, he scratched his head and well Sebastian and Tina stared at each other then back at Timur, Tina raised a brow in suspicion.

“Don’t tell me you’re-”

“No, no, no, it’s not that. It’s...I-I’m sorry...I never pictured myself having this conversation-”

“Huh?” Tina inspected Timur’s body language, his body seemed tense, he was sweating like a madman. He was constantly itching his head, rubbing his scar and bouncing his leg. She knew what he meant and rubbed the back of her neck, Sebastian caught on himself.

“Ok, I understand.”

“Sorry…”

“Don’t be, it’s hard to come to terms with stuff like that.”

“It’s worse for me, *sigh* listen. In Russia...the people are...violently homophobic.”

“I heard, it’s terrible and it’s to a point where they even kill LGBT folks and don’t even bat an eye. It’s like common road kill for them, tragic if you ask me.” Sebastian added.

“Yes...but it's something I witnessed myself but I’ll leave it alone, It's something I don’t want to think about.”

“I understand, so what do you want to ask?”

“How...you handle it, what’s it like? Not to hide, not to be afraid? Your struggles and how to-”

“Whoa there, easy...Timur was it?”

“You know my name?”

“Overheard, now listen. You have to do this one step at a time, ok?”

“Ok…”

“Does your unit know?” Sebastian asked, munching on the snacks Timur bought for them.

“No, they’re older than me, Shuhrat is close to my age but not Maxim and Alex. They’re the oldest...but i’m especially afraid of Maxim…”

“interested?”

“..Yes. Normally I did so well suppressing this, but I would feel it coming back over and over. It messes with my sleep, my aiming and my thinking process.”

“When you hide something like that so deep inside you, they’ll eventually build up like anger. Sometimes it’ll burst, but if not, they eat you alive and mess with your body and mind. I’m not saying you should quickly get over it, but if you don’t do something, you’ll make regrettable choices and your body would be against you.” Sebastian warned with his mouth stuffed with snacks.

“Tina… can you please help me? I know you don’t like me and my unit and you’re not obligated by any means, but I...don’t know who to really turn to and you two are the only ones I told.”

“I-I don’t hate you, like stuffy mouth over there, I just tolerate you. Listen, i’ll help because I know what you’re going through.”

“Must be shameful to see a grown adult dealing with this…”

“Timur, I just told you that it’s not an easy thing to come to terms with. I have seen people twice our ages who made families take a long time to come out, you're fine. Tomorrow, we’ll meet in your art station, ok?” Timur gave her a smile and got a bit teary eyed, it felt like so much weight was off his shoulders that some people knew his internal struggle.

“Ok, that’s fine with me. Thank you, Tina. You too, Sebastian. I wish you two a good evening.” Timur left their space and shut the door, Tina flopped on her bed and stuffed a snack in her mouth. She got a lot of work to from here on now, but she knows it’s worth it. The next morning arrived and Timur went to the mess hall to have coffee and a quick chat with Yumiko, he left as soon as they finished and arrived at his art station. Sebastian was gazing at Timur's artwork, Tina was inspecting the photos he took on his past missions.

“I have to say, you really have an eye for these things.”

“Ha, thank you. It took some time to learn where to take pictures at the perfect angle.”

“Wish I had your talent, anyways, you ready?”

“Yes!”

“Ok, here’s our lesson.” Tina took him to a table with three colored mugs, one was black, one was dark green, and one was light blue.

“Alright, come over and pick one up.” Timur shrugged his shoulders and grabbed the black one, Tina took the mug out of his hands and back on the table.

“Alright, let’s do this again, pick up a mug.” He reached his hand out and paused, he looked at Tina and then Sebastian who was still stuffing his face with sweets. His instincts told him if black was the wrong choice, then the dark green one isn’t. Tina sighed as she took the mug out of his hand again and back on the table.

“Timur, can you tell me why you chose the dark colors?”

“Well, a guy sho-'' Timur's head ached, he looked at the mugs again. His mind told him to pick the darker color option to avoid any type of suspicion of his well, but his heart didn’t want either of them. He asked Tina if he could pick up a mug again, she nodded and stood aside. Timur wiped the sweat off his hands and picked up the light blue mug.

“Tell me, why did you choose that one.”

“The light shade of the blue, it reminded me of the sky, being so free. Even when the sky darkened clouds cover it and bring rain to bring a depressing mood such as the color dark green, or when the night sky takes over and covers the world in black and brings fear like the color black, the sky always comes back as blue. I saw myself in the black, hiding myself in the darkness, hoping for no one to see the real me. But the blue helps remind me that one day I'll come to life and be free.”

“Wow, I felt that!” Sebastian managed to say with a stuffed mouth.

“Can you swallow before you speak? Anyways, the reason why I did this cause I knew you were going to pick the darker color because you wanted to avoid people's suspicion of liking brighter colors. Masculinity can play a bigger fear factor in your choices, I wanted you to overcome it and pick with your heart because you’ll answer with honesty.”

“Thank you, really-”

“It’s not over yet. Around 5 o’clock, we’ll put on a little show here with the same colored cups. I want you to talk well taking the color your heart wants and not the one your mind wants, ok?”

“Ok, I…”

“Listen buddy, just take ya mind off of it.” Sebastian told him with food flying onto Timur’s face, Timur and Tina stared at Sebastian as he apologized for his poor manners. They left the room to resume their day, Timur returned to his room and saw Maxim, he was looking for a tool he misplaced. He looked at Timur and saw he was a little tense, he shrugged it off and told him it was because he was still in pain.

“Hey Timur, Grace said she saw you with the Canadians.”

“I...did pay them a visit.”

“You shouldn’t, it’s best we stay away from them to keep our...feud toned down.”

“That’s a first, nice Alex gonna come in and say we should apologies.”

“The time he apologies to them is the day...what do the Americans say it? When the sky rains blood? Anyways, I heard you’re setting up a little gathering?”

“(Not exactly, Tina and Sebastian are doing most of the work.) yeah, planning to come?”

“Ah, found it! Umm… maybe, but I want to tinker with my EDD first. I’ll drop by when I get a chance.” Maxim left the room, Timur let out a sigh of relief, Maxim didn’t question his small wounds but what will he do now? The gathering is hours away, Alex is gone, Maxim and Shuhrat are cooped up in the workshop. He itched his head as an idea came up, he picked up his sketchbook and headed to the mess hall. Many other operators were inside, he used them for hours of light sketching to take his mind off the upcoming event. Yumiko came next to him to take a peek.

“Your artwork always amaze me, Timur.”

“Thank you, I'm probably not going to finish these though.”

“It looked finished to me, but I bet your little gallery show will be ten times better!”

“Y-yeah, hmmmm. I didn’t know I was sketching for a long time. I better check in.”

“Good luck and see you soon!” Timur left the mess hall and came into his art station, Sebastian and Tina did a fabulous job decorating. Timur felt a little guilty letting them do all the work, but they didn’t seem to mind, they did say they would help him. He helped with what was left and they finished ten minutes before it started.

“Ok remember, choose the color you want.” Timur nodded, they turned their attention to the door as a horde of footsteps were approaching. Soon his art station was filled with operators who had the time to come, most of them came in their casual wear well others were still in their uniform from their training session. The Germans were mostly looking at Timur’s photos, Dominic was sipping a flask despite alcohol being prohibited. The French admire his scalper work, Grace and Yumiko stared at his painted work of landscapes he traversed on. The event was going smoothly as everyone was enjoying the gallery show. Tina took a look around to double check on things until she bumped into Maxim, they stared at each other like they were ready to fight again. The heat was beginning to rise but stopped, they held in their grudge and walked past each other. She went over to Timur who was chatting with Sebastian, Tina pointed to Maxim who was with Olivier.

“Ok go over there, pick up a cup you want and talk to them, got it?”

“Ok, I got this.” Timur went over to the table where Maxim was standing at, sweat rolled down his face but he wiped it off before he arrived. They noticed the tense man and saw that he picked up a cup and took a sip of whatever was inside. The conversation was smooth and light, nothing out of the ordinary. Maxim talked about how Shuhrat kept trying to take his tools off his desk, or how Marius’s device electronically interfaced with his, making it impossible for him to work in the same room for a while. Timur couldn’t help but laugh at his misfortune, but he was more surprised that Maxim bothered to learn other operators' names. Unfortunately, Maxim wasn’t planning to stay long, he just wanted to drop by for a second for Timur’s sake. Timur always did enjoy whenever Maxim looked out for him, could it be because of their age, or that they both filled the gap that the other didn’t have. Time passed and the operators left Timur’s art station, they were nice enough to clean up their mess to make things easier for the three.

“Ok, that takes care of that. Did you guys enjoy yourselves?”

“...”

“...”

“What?” He asked, Tina pointed to the table where he was talking to Maxim, Timur saw the cup he used. He walked over and picked it up with disappointment, he chose the black cup, the color he didn’t want. He flopped down on a stool and buried his head in his hands, he failed. His fear got the best of them, Sebastian rubbed his back and handed him a treat to cheer up.

“It’s hard, Timur. This is going to be a while-”

“But I couldn’t pass step one!”

“And that’s fine, I’m not expecting you to conquer it right then and there-”

“Then what can I do!?”

“Relax! We can always revisit step one, for now, you should get some sleep. Buck here is going to be taking charge for tomorrow.”

“What about you?”

“I have a briefing to attend to, I might be able to join but no promises.” Timur only sighed, they finished cleaning and went to bed, unfortunately, Timur struggled to sleep again. A recurring horrible nightmare plagued his mind again, he sweated, he tossed and turned. He saw blood, so much blood was on his hands. He heard his father scream in their native tongue, not just his, but from many others. His body trembled in his bed as an image of a bloody body appeared in his head, he was saying something to him, it was difficult as the man was choking on his own blood.

“ **Don’t...be like them, run...when you have a chance…** ” the man managed to say, before a rock was lodged into his face. Timur woke up in a cold sweat, his breathing was heavy as his head was pounding with pain. He looked around and saw that he didn’t wake up anyone, he needed some air to let himself cool off. He put on some shoes, grabbed his jacket and went outside, he leaned against some railings and let the wind chill air cool his face.

“You’ll catch a cold with all that sweat, you know?” Yumiko told him, handing him a heated drink to make sure he stayed warm.

“Coffee?”

“Hot cocoa.”

“Thank you, but why are you up?”

“I was going over some late night briefing with some others, didn’t expect it to lead to morning. I saw you and you looked...stressed beyond belief, you ok?”

“...I've been having nightmares...no, I've been having the same nightmare for weeks now. At first, it was nothing, but it’s getting to me.”

“What is the nightmare?”

“I...don’t want to talk about it, sorry…”

“It’s fine, let’s change the subject. I really enjoyed your little show, you hope to show me more of your future work.”

“Ha, I better be careful or Jack might come up with some ideas. Speaking of, where is he?”

“He was stationed somewhere in the east, won’t be back for a while now. Why, miss him?” She playfully winked, Timur nudged her shoulder and laughed. He’s really glad someone as kind as her was in Rainbow, from Timur's experience, not a lot of the operators like each other and it confused him. They were brought together due to their unique skills and special qualities of themselves, someone would think we’ll eventually bond at some point but he was wrong. A prime example would be his unit and the Canadians, but having people like Yumiko or Monika being the few rays of light this place is a breath of fresh air. Yumiko reached in her pocket and handed him something, it was a snow globe with the word “home” written in Russian.

“A good friend told me to cheer someone up or to get them to talk, you give them a gift that reminds them of home. Unfortunately, this was all that was left in the market, most of the Russian goods were gone for some reason.”

“It’s fine, I was raised to love and treasure what I’m gifted, thank you.”

“No problem, I better head back and you should too.”

“I will, good night.” Yumiko headed back inside, leaving Timur as he stared at the globe. It didn’t bring him joy, it brought pain. Being reminded of his home was the last thing he wanted to think about. He returned to his barracks and walked to his stand, there was a framed picture of a boy and a man hugging each other dearly. Looking at it only brought more pain, he wanted this night to end, even if he’s going to experience the same nightmare again. Morning soon arrived and Timur freshened himself and walked to the mess hall, Tina didn’t say when Sebastian was going to get him, so he took this time to get something in him. He picked up some food and sat down next to Grace who was surprisingly up this early.

“Morning, sleepy beauty.”

“Morning, Bob Ross.”

“Fancy seeing you up so early.”

“Only because Yumiko insisted that I do some physical training instead of tinkering with coding.”

“Why didn’t you bail?”

“Them!” She pointed, Timur looked and saw Monika and Julien in tracksuits doing some light stretches.

“Yumiko asked them to train with me, so there’s no way for me to get out of this…”

“*Giggle* What’s the phase kids say? Sucks to be you?”

“Don’t you have a bottle of vodka to chug down!? Anyways, nice little show yesterday. I see you’re getting cozy with Frost and Buck?”

“W-well, it’s best to get along considering my unit...feelings towards them.”

“Pfft, i’m going to enjoy this shit show.”

“Shit show?” Grace took a sip of her coffee that was nothing back cream and sugar, pulled out her phone and sent Timur a message. He raised a brow considering that no one but his unit should have his number, he opened it up and saw Grace's signature icon. He read the message and became drenched.

“I know you’re gay, I didn’t want to say it out loud for anyone else to hear.” Timur tugged his shirt collar but soon calmed down, he thanked her for not saying it around others, the less that knows, the better.

“Ok, b-but how?”

“Dude, the signs were obvious, not to mention your little crush on Ma-”

“Ok! P-please, don’t talk about it. What do I have to do to keep you quiet?”

“Nothing, i’m evil but not an asshole. Huh?”

“Ok, Grace. Time for your training!” Monika cheerfully told with a singing tone, her and Julien each took one of Grace’s arms and started dragging her to the gym. Her face flushed red as she kicked her feet in retaliation.

“(I-I changed my mind, I am evil, please join me in the gym, PLEASE!)” she yelled quietly, Timur almost missed what she said due to Monika and Julien hearty laughter. He sighed and decided to follow them to give Grace some type of leisure, but he ended up bumping into Maxim in the hallways. He was holding an ice pack to his face and his bottom lip was bleeding, his facial expression clearly told that he wasn’t in the mood for anything other than laying down on his bed.

“Bad day?”

“Bad luck and I paid the price.”

“Well get some rest, I know it’s not really your thing but it’s the best thing you should do.”

“...”

“What?”

“Timur, I heard you with Frost and Buck-”

“You should really learn the other operators’ names-”

“Point is, I thought I told you to stay away from them.”

“...”

“Timur, what’s wrong? You have been...odd recently, weeks to be accurate. What’s going on?” Timur paused, of course Maxim of all people would notice his behavior, but the words wouldn’t come out of his mouth.

“Ok, since you want to be silent, what are the Canadians providing that we- i’m not? I know you didn’t set up that event-”

“Maxim?”

“Hmmm?”

“I...can’t.”

“Why? I can easily do what they can do, why aren’t you trusting your unit?” He asked, it was because they all came from the same country and he feared that they might not accept him if he told the truth. The sweat rolling down his face already told Maxim that he wasn’t going to tell him.

“Sorry Maxim…” He softly gave before walking down the hall, Maxim starred until he was out of site. It hurt that Timur couldn’t trust his team, but more importantly, he couldn’t trust him. Maxim returned to his room and threw the ice pack on his bed, he knew it was wrong to invade someone's privacy but Timur isn’t feeling well. Alex isn’t really around and Shuhrat is locked up in the workshop as usual, so it’s up to him to figure it out. He looked around Timur’s side of the room in hope to find something. He found his sketchbook with light doodles, some notes for himself and a snow globe.

“*Sigh* (Timur...what wrong? Did...I do something for you not to trust me?)” he asked himself. Timur arrived at the gym only to find Sebastian knocked out with Max on top of him.

“What happened!?”

“He got ahead of himself and thought size mattered in combat, but a cornered fox is just-” Timur picked up the small man with ease and tossed him aside.

“Sebastian, Sebastian! Damn, he’s out cold, just my luck…”

“I’ll drag him to Doc, hope I didn’t ruin anything.”

“(YES!) No, you haven’t. Please take him to Doc.”

“You got it!” Timur watches Max drag Sebastian out of the gym, he then walks to a bench and watches Grace struggle with the physical training and Monika making her drink one of her weird protein shakes. No matter how much she showed that she was exhausted, Monika and Juilen kept picking her up and pushed her to her limit. Grace limped towards Timur and fell to the floor, he swore he saw her spirit leave her body, this isn’t her strong suit whatsoever. He heard Monika calling his name to see if he wants to join them, he turned down the offer as he wasn’t in the right mindset for any type of training. Soon Timur straightened his body up because a cold bottle of water was placed on his neck.

“Too early to be sweating this hard from nothing.” Yumiko jokes, handing Timur a bottle of water before sitting next to him.

“Shouldn’t you give her one?”

“Eh, she’s fine.” she answered, the both looked at Grace and saw that she was out of it. Timur poked her with his feet but only got an exhausted grunt.

“You know, you seem to be around whenever i’m...not feeling myself.”

“I’ve been told that I have some weird older sister nature.”

“Hmm, I don’t mind it. It feels nice to have someone like you around.”

“*Giggle* Thank you. Now I know I sound like a broken record, but are you ok?” Timur stared at him, Yumiko is like bits of the operators he liked the most. Looking out for him like Maxim, her playfulness like Grace, lending an ear like Tina and Sebastian. But not in just her personality, but her strength and mind as well. She is powerful as Alex and ruthless like Shurart, she’s almost like a perfect being. Timur always asks himself why he never told her, she seemed like a person who wouldn’t care what he’s attracted to.

“I tried going back to sleep last night but-”

“The nightmare happened again?”

“Yeah…”

“Timur...when did the nightmares start? I know you said recently, but I have a feeling that’s not the truth? Months?”

“...Years.”

“(Years!? How many!?)”

“...”

“(Sorry for the outburst.)”

“I’m...sorry, I-I’m going to-” Timur tried to leave but Yumiko grabbed his wrist, she felt his body tremble, something was eating him alive. She got up from the bench and confronted him, he was scared, what was she going to say? Is she going to use force, or maybe she knows like Grace? She could blackmail him, abuse him, so many possibilities flowed in and out his head and caused more sweat to fall.

“Whatever it is, leaving and hiding will only make it worse. Let’s forget about it and move onto something else.”

“...what did you have in mind?” He questioned, she smiled as she pulled him away from the gym and to the shooting range. Timur grabbed his rifle but saw that Yumiko didn’t bring a weapon.

“Are we having some sort of contest?”

“I actually wanted to try out your rifle, particularly your scope. Jack always talked about it and wanted to try, so i’m gonna make him jealous by doing it first!”

“Wow, didn’t know he was dating the devil.”

“A beast disguised as beauty as they say, so what do you say?”

“Sure, I already set up targets I normally use.” She nodded and aimed, she saw that the targets were highlighted due to the image sensors embedded in the scope.

“Thermal?”

“Not exactly, just highlights the image who comes across.”

“So let me get this straight, despite being skilled in long range weaponry, this scope tells you when someone is in your general sight?”

“Hmmm...basically yeah.”

“Ha, you’re such a cheater.”

“C-cheater!? I didn’t cheat!”

“Oh you so totally do.”

“Did not! This is high grade military-”

“CCCHHEEEATTTERRR!”

“I DON’T CHEAT!”

“Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater!” No matter what Timur told, Yumiko cuts him off and calls him a cheater over and over again. Timur turned red and puffed his cheeks, it was like an older sibling messing with their younger sibling. Timur crossed his arms and looked away, but he turned around and smiled, his red skin went back to pale white with his shining blue eyes locking onto Yumiko’s.

“Thank you, I really needed this.”

“No need, if you need someone to talk, i’m here. And it doesn’t have to be about your problems, we could just do something like this again. Just relaxing and letting go on what’s eating you alive is the best way of not letting it take control.”

“I know, sometimes I feel like a child with how i’m dealing with my problems, i’m in my thirties for christ sake.”

“That doesn’t mean anything-”

“She’s right.” A voice interrupted, Maxim came to them and Yumiko witnessed all of Timur’s positivity vanish from his face.

“We experience new problems with ourselves everyday well still dealing with the ones we have now. It takes years for us to solve them, locking your mind behind age isn’t a good move.”

“Yeah…” Silence filled the room, Timur excused himself and left the shooting range. He left in such a hurry that made Maxim’s stomach uneasy, he should have minded his business but instead he intervened and it felt like he tore a hole open.

“Timur…”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to...make him leave.”

“It’s fine, we were just about done.”

“...Hi-” Maxim remembered what Timur told him, to start learning and using others' names, he took another breath and resumed his sentence.

“Yumiko, please. What is wrong with him?”

“If i’m being honest, I don’t know myself.”

“But there has to be something he said!?”

“...*Sigh* it’s really not my place to say...but all he told me was that he been experiencing the same nightmare for a while.”

“What nightmare?”

“He didn’t tell me, I wish to know myself. But considering you seem to be looking into it, is there anything that might help us figure it out?”

“Timur doesn’t have a lot, just his art stuff and his picture of his uncle.”

“His uncle?”

“Yeah, one of his relatives he talks about a lot. He mentioned his dad here and there, sometimes his other family but that's it. I remember Alex tried to get more out of him, but he just laughed it off and avoided the question.”

“Then that’s it, maybe he doesn’t have a good connection with his family, he probably misses his uncle too.”

“(But why does it feel like that isn’t the case?) Yumiko, you think Dokka- Grace can help?”

“Well yes, but we shouldn’t pry into Timur’s life if he isn’t comfortable sharing.”

“I know, but Alex isn’t around and Shuhart is always in the workshop. I’m concerned about Timur, whatever he’s dealing with is messing with his health and his performance.”

“*Sigh* Ok, I’m against you doing this but he belongs in your unit. Grace is with Masaru and Monika, think Monika dragged her off to the Germans barracks after their training session.”

“Thank you.” Maxim left the room and headed straight to the Germans barracks.

“(Hmm, doesn’t make sense. Timur having issues with his family, but why wouldn’t he tell Maxim? He clearly cares for him, so it makes me believe it’s not entirely his family.)” She asked herself, Maxim marched to the Germans barracks. He saw Monika and Masaru messing with rotobtics, Grace was on her laptop doing some coding that Maxim didn’t even pretend to understand.

“Morning Maxim, fancy seeing you here.” Monika greeted after taking a quick glance.

“Yeah, I don’t really socialize much.”

“I’ll say, seeing you is like seeing a unicorn.”

“Thanks…? I’m really here for Grace.”

“The hell you want, old man?” Maxim squinted his eyes in irritation.

“Couldn’t you say anything a little nicer?”

“Have you not seen your own track record and you’re asking me to say something nice? Yeah, that’s definitely happening.”

“Tch, why you- I mean, I came for your help.”

“With?”

“Timur.”

“Sounds like a you problem.”

“Dammit, I’m asking nicely!”

“Sounds more like shouting.”

“Why yo-”

“ **Most of them already don’t like us, Maxim…** ”

“Listen, i’m just...concerned and want the best for him. Please?”

“Invading someone’s privacy is a low move.”

“Weren’t you the one who leaked Bandit’s porn history”

“Ha, yeah. I thought it was a stereotype that they like the kinky shit. *Sigh* alright, what do you want?”

“Timur’s uncle, what can you dig on him?”

“Well let’s see, can I see your phone?”

“Sure?” He handed her his phone and she hooked it up to her laptop.

“Ok, got his number-”

“Wait, couldn’t you just easily access his number from the start?”

“Yes, I just wanted to hack your phone and take your stuff. Nice nudes, who’s it for?.” Maxim turned red, Monika and Marasu tried to peek over to see back Maxim pushed them away.

“GRACE!”

“Don’t be ashamed. Anyways, time to dig some dirt on Timur.”

“Please don’t say it like that.” She rolled her eyes and continued digging, Monika and Marasu peeked over again and watched Grace’s program search through the Russian database for Timur’s family tree.

“Ok, it’s almost done. Huh?”

“What?”

“Timur Glazkov, son of the dock worker Mr. Glazkov. His mom is deceased, has some cousins on his mom’s side but-”

“But?”

“They all were from his aunts from his mother’s side who don't share the same blood, let me pull up their images of the aunt's husbands.” She ran her fingers on the keyboard and brought up images of the husbands and looked at Maxim.

“Well?”

“No, none of them matched the photo in our barracks.”

“Well, that doesn’t make sense. His father doesn’t have a brother, meaning it’s just a title-”

“And means we’re at a dead end. Back to zero, dammit! I’ll be going.”

“Want your nudes back?”

“GRACE!”

“I’m joking, I wasn’t giving it back anyways.”

“Errr…” Maxim left the barracks with Grace chasing after him, they returned to his barracks and flopped on his bed. Grace sat on Timur’s bed, he must be in his art station.

“Being back to square one isn’t helping me.”

‘Calm down, you’ll find something.”

“It feels like you already know the problem.”

“Somewhat, but I ain’t telling out of respect for Timur.”

“And why are you here?”

“Was always curious about your barracks, but it’s so...plain. I thought having an artist would make things livelier, but it’s just as boring and tasteless as unflavored oatmeal.”

“And you’re such a way with words.”

“Comes with the package, also who’s the redhead?” Maxim looked over and saw Alex in the kitchen listening to them.

“I have a name and it’s Alex, brat!”

“Don’t look like one. Also it’s rude to eavesdrop on other people's conversations?”

“You’re in my barracks…”

“Tomato tomahto.”

“Maxim, I don’t like her.”

“Me either.”

“Why is she here?”

“I’m here because-”

“Of Timur?” Maxim looked up, Grace made an uneasy facial expression and went back to her laptop.

“I know his behavior has...been odd, but I might have made it worse.”

“Oh tell us the shit show!”

“Grace!” Alex ignored her and told him what happened. Timur was in their barracks after he left the shooting range, Alex told them he seemed exhausted and stressed again. Alex also told him he has been noticing it for weeks now, it was the same for Maxim. Shuhrat apparently knew as well but he decided to mind his business, Alex confronted Timur about it but he wasn’t answering. He told him he sweated like he was being interrogated and his skin matched the color of blood, he was rubbing his scar which told Alex he was feeling uncomfortable. Alex said he got a bit irritated with Timur dodging his questions when he clearly was in need of some help, then said he heard of him being with the Canadians. He asked one more time but his voice was filled with rage, Timur ran out of their barracks and hasn't been back.

“Geez, and I thought Mike was a hardass. Way to go, grandpa. Who thinks yelling at someone would be a good idea when someone is showing signs of stress?”

“Maxim...I really don’t like her.”

“If I had a dollar every time someone said that. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

“Where are you going?”

“To find Juliet in this tragedy written by Shakespeare himself.” Alex and Maxim raised a brow from that statement Grace made, she left the door and looked through the cameras to find the stressed man. It wasn’t hard for her as she found him in mere seconds, he was in his art station with Sebastian. A grin grew on her face as she pushed up her glasses and rushed over to them, the two heard someone come through the door and saw Grace pull up a stool and sat next to Timur.

“I see you recovered from this morning?”

“I wanted to pass out honestly, but I wanted to, uh- help you out.” Sebastian raised a brow in question which made her confess.

“Ok, I was with Maxim and Alex and he told us how he made things worse. So, I wanted to check on you. There, happy?”

“Why were you with them?”

“If I tell, it’ll make you sweat buckets so let’s not.”

“Look, he didn’t have the best morning. Let’s move on with today’s lesson. Unfortunately, Tina isn’t with us, so i’ll do my best. So, for today we’ll be going out to a specific bar. Grace, will you like to join us?”

“I could go to a drink.”

“A b-bar? That’s…”

“A little too fast, I know. I talked it over with Tina and she agrees, getting to know more LGBT folks will help. So you have more options and see how others handle themselves.”

“But…”

“Timur, you hardly leave the base. It’s just a trip, if you end up not liking it, we’ll never do it again.”

“*Sigh* ok, go freshen up, you reek of sweat. Grace, come with me.” The two split off, Timur went to his barracks and showered the sweat that stinks up his body. He dried, groom himself and put on some clothes and a coat, a flat cap Mike gave him and left before anyone came inside. He met Sebastian and Grace were inside a car waiting for him, he hopped in and they drove off into the city. Grace was typing on her laptop and keeping the chatting with Sebastian alive, but all Timur did was stare out the window. He wanted to keep looking at the view but his eyes were getting heavy, he ended up going asleep and tuned out the chatter.

“Timur, Timur, wake up!” Grace shook him until his eyes opened, Sebastian told him they’re here and told him to get out. Timur shook his head and rubbed his eyes, he wishes he was still sleeping right now, sleeping would be better than a bar right now. They walked from the parking garage and walked a few blocks into an alleyway with stairs leading down to a door, Sebastian told them that Tina takes him here sometimes. He knocked with a certain rhythm and the door opened, a bouncer stood in front of them and opened his hand. Sebastian paid the fee for all three of them, it was a hefty amount, Timur and Grace were sure to pay him back someday. They handed them their coats and went inside. The bar was flashy, too flashy for Timur eyes. Grace didn’t mind it considering she always has a screen in her face, Sebastian told it took him awhile to get used to it.

“There’s a bar over there, just stay over there and if someone talks, you talk. Ok?”

“Ok…”

“We’ll be over there keeping watch, relax.” Grace and Sebastian left Timur and headed to the main dance floor. Timur hung his head low, making sure no one could get a good look at him. A bartender handed him a cocktail, told him he looked out of it and needed a drink. Timur picked it up and took it on it, the bartender looked at him with confusion, it wasn’t a type of drink to be scarfed down in a hurry. The bartender handed him another and told him to slow down this time, Timur wasn’t himself. Random guys and gals passed by and tried to talk to him, but he either was silent or shouted and brewed fear to others. He wanted to go back to bed, he doesn’t care if he gets questioned. He’s sweaty again, his hard was pounding and the alcohol isn’t helping. But more and more people were crowding around him, his vision started to blur and his hearing was deafening. He was calling for Sebastian, but the loud music masked his voice until he finally passed out. The crowd backed up with some of them screaming from the sudden act, Grace and Sebastian pushed people away. They found Timur unconscious and covered in sweat yet again, they sighed and picked him up and carried him back to the car. As he sleeps, Timur’s nightmare reoccurred, the same nightmare that has been playing periodically in his mind for years. The blood, the yelling and angry slurs, the tears, the hate, the murdering. Timur remembers it all and then remembers his uncle’s face, the same sentence came out of his mouth before he witnessed the same fate of a rock smashing into his face. The horrifying act forced Timur to wake up in the ER again, Grace was in a chair with her laptop. She handed him a rag to clean himself.

“Where are we?”

“The ER, you passed out at the bar. We had Doc examine you and it was due to a dangerously high level of stress. So basically, you had a panic attack.”

“And Sebastian?”

“He stepped out to go to the briefing Tina was in, it needed both of them for some reason, sure it’s done by now. He told me to tell you he’s sorry for taking you there and giving you a panic attack.”

“It’s...fine, it was my fault.”

“Don’t beat yourself up, you’ve done far worse.”

“Thanks! Wait, why are you here?”

“That’s a nice way of saying thanks for watching over you.”

“O-oh, sorry.”

“It’s fine. To be honest, I didn’t want Maxim coming in here. I’m sure seeing him will only cause more problems.”

“Maxim...came?”

“All of them did, Doc must have told them or something. I didn’t let any in, but you're probably gonna have a tough time in your barracks.”

“What time is it?”

“7:32pm, you been out for...five hours? We left around 2pm, slept like a baby. Anyways, you hungry?”

“Yeah, my stomach is killing me.”

“Come, Monika is cooking something big and wants everyone to get some in the mess hall. It should be done by now.”

“Monika does make good food.” Timur got from the bed and headed to the mess all with Grace, the mouth drooling aroma flowing through the halls confirmed it was Monika’s cooking. They follow the scent until they can enter the mess hall. They opened the doors, expecting to see people eating away food but got the opposite. Some of the operators were against the wall, some hid under the trouble out of fear. A sudden burst of heat hit the duo’s face as if summer was hosted inside. Tina and Sebastian were staring down Timur’s unit, they were yelling, cursing. Their faces itching to see the other one slaughtered in front of them by their hands, Timur was ready to rush in but Grace grabbed him so he wouldn’t end up in the ER for the third time.

“We can’t just let this happen!”

“You can’t, I can. FIGHT, FIGHT!” She shouted, holding up her phone and recording it all. Monika set down the pot when she finished cooking, but as soon she saw the tension of the room, she pulled up a lid to shield herself. Tina picked up a ladle, scooped some of the food and threw it at Maxim. This enraged him as he did the same with a bigger amount at the both of them, that was the final straw. It broke out into a fight, both sides grabbed kitchen utensils and went at it. The other operators tried to break up the fight, but they saw what happened to Timur, they know they’ll get harm if they try to intervene. Sebastian dragging Alex across the countertop and into the back of the kitchen, Tina threw dinner plates at Maxim. Maxim smacks them out of his way as he rushes in with a clever, Tina picks a kitchen knife and clashes her utensils with his. Shuhrat kicked the vending machine with can sodas, many fell out and he shook then threw them at Tina. Tina took Maxim off her and took cover from the sodas, she then pushed the table towards him to distract him and threw the knife directly at him. He ducked but soon was grappled and pinned by Tina. Before either parties did any serious damage to each other, Ash and Mike burst through the door and broke it up. They told them that the five of them will be held accountable today and told them to clean up the mess. The Russians went to the back of the kitchen to clean up and the Canadians took care of the dining area, Timur slowly approached him but soon was gripped by his shirt collar and pulled in.

“Fuck you, your unit and your problems! I don’t want to see you and their faces!” her voice was filled with rage, Sebastian came to add on.

“Do NOT come for us, we’re done, Timur. You’re on your own!” Tina let go of him and went back to cleaning. Timur hung his head in guilt and shame, he bolted out of the room and was gone. Yumiko came in the aftermath and saw the destruction of the mess hall.

“What the fuck happened!?”

“Canadians and the Spetsnaz got into a big fight, don’t know how it happened but it was awesome. I recorded it, wanna see?”

“Grace…wait, what about Timur?”

“After Tina and Sebastian yelled at him, he turned red, I mean really red and bolted out. Also Monika is crying because her food got ruined.”

“Doesn’t seem to be stopping Julien.” Yumiko cut in, watching him eat some of the food off the countertop. Yumiko rolled her eyes and returned back to her barracks. Timur was in an unoccupied space, sitting on a couch and breathing rapidly. This was all his fault, well that’s what he’s telling himself. His skin was growing redder with each second, images of his nightmare flash in his head, adding more to his head that felt like it was splitting open. He wanted help, any help, he wanted someone to ease his mind before darker thoughts formed.

“Hungry?” A familiar voice asked, Timur looked behind him and saw Yumiko smiling and holding a tray with two bowls of traditional ramen with chopsticks sitting on top.

“U-um…”

“Well, are you?”

“S-sure” He answered, she sat the tray on the little coffee table in front of them. She picked hers up and began eating it.

“Don’t worry, the bowl isn’t hot. Come on, I may not be Monika but i’m a good cook.” She told him, Timur grabbed his bowl and stared at the content inside. He was still depressed about the situation but the smell of the food was getting to him, Yumiko laughed as she heard his stomach growl, now he’s red from embarrassment.

“It’s going to get cold if you just stare at it.”

“...*sigh* sorry.”

“For?”

“Being silent and red and-”

“Sssshhh, eat. We’ll talk afterwards.” Timur looked at her and her smile toned down his red skin, he pried apart the chopsticks and began eating. Timur was in love with the ramen, the broth, the fresh made noodles with the fresh cooked beef. Timur ate like he hasn't for days, it must be from his body enduring such mental problems recently. Yumiko was pleased that he was enjoying her cooking, she then put down her bowl and resumed their talk.

“Thank you, I was really hungry and was looking forward to Monika’s food.”

“My pleasure, but how are you feeling?”

“Terrible, absolutely terrible. This is all my fault!”

“That’s...a stretch. You can’t blame yourself, Grace said neither of you knows why they fought.”

“But they know I been with the Canadians, If...if I was just-”

“Just?” She repeated, Timur paused. He took in a deep breath and looked back at her.

“I’m...gay.”

“...is this the part where i’m supposed to be shocked?”

“ ...WHAT!? YOU KNEW!?”

“For a while, had to piece some things together.” Timur’s mind was in disbelief, but in a good way. Once again, he felt a lot of weight was lifted off his shoulders, especially since it was Yumiko of all people.

“Is that what's been eating you alive?”

“Kinda, but it...goes further but I can’t express enough how relieved I am with you knowing.”

“I’m glad i’m doing something that’s helping, but it seems like you have a bigger problem.”

“Yeah. Yumiko, please. I don’t know what to do, I used to be able to solve any problem with ease, they were literally never an issue for me. But ever since this shit started happening, I-I can’t think straight. Please, my unit is distrusting me and I just lost the Canadians' help, not to mention that it…what do the kids say? “It’s on sight.” when they see each other.”

“Hmmmm, well. When you try to bring people together, you use their interests!”

“Interest?”

“Yeah, use your knowledge of your unit’s interests and the Canadians and use it to bring them together.”

“This might be difficult on my own though, not to mention that might not work…”

“Don’t worry, I know someone who can help.”

“Who?” Yumiko reached her hand behind the couch and gripped something tightly, she pulled up someone and it was Grace. She was eavesdropping on them and doesn’t know how she got caught, Yumiko slowly turned her head and her simple smiling expression leaked death whenever she opened her mouth.

“Grace, you’ll help Timur since you’re SO into his drama right now, right!?”

“Y-yeah, w-what friend would I-I be to not help him!?”

“Good, I would help but I have to be out tomorrow and won’t be back till later in the day. So I wish you the best of luck.”

“Thank you.”

“Also, Jack still isn’t here. I can ask Ash if you can sleep in his bed.”

“...Please? I don’t think I have the mentality to go to my barracks.” Yumiko rubbed his head for comfort, she picked up the tray and walked to Ash’s barracks and explained the current situation. She was still heated that the mess hall became a war zone but she didn’t have a problem with Timur sleeping in Jack’s bed. Timur immediately went to sleep, trying his damndest to revisit his nightmare. But no matter how hard he tired, no matter how much Yumiko comforted him, no matter how hard he tried to think of Maxim’s kindness, the nightmare always resurfaces and ruins another night for Timur.

The next morning wasn’t pleasant in the slightest for Timur, he woke up to a note written by Ash that he can use their bathroom if he isn’t well enough to return to his. He dropped the paper and looked at the foot of the bed where some of his clothes and a note, it was from Grace and it told him to meet her in the mess hall ASAP. Timur dropped that paper, picked up his clothes and headed into the shower. He didn’t want to be bothersome so he made the shower quick, as he was drying himself he looked into the mirror. He looked terrible, his eyes were starting to have bags and dark circles were forming around them. His face only showed tiredness and even spotted a few grays in his beard, his mental state is crumbling into pieces and if he doesn’t fix it, he’ll become something he doesn’t want. He groomed himself, plucked the grays off and left the barracks and arrived at the mess hall. He saw Grace with Monika enjoying their coffee and food that Monika made for them.

“You look like shit!”

“I feel like shit, what we’re having?”

“I don’t know, Monika cooked it.”

“It’s just some simple breakfast anyone with a brain cell can cook, but you don’t look so well, Timur.”

“I...just been under a lot of stress recently, now i’m trying to fix the grudge between my unit and the Canadians.”

“Well, i’m here to help!”

“I was hoping for it to be the two of us, you know, me and Grace-”

“The kitchen utensils they used and broke I paid with my money-”

“...You know what they say, three is the magic number.”

“Ok, so how are we doing this?”

“Are we doing what Yumiko suggested?”

“I don’t know, I know my unit like the back of my hand but-”

“Hold on, Timur. You are not seriously thinking about putting them near each other?” Monika asked.

“I agree for once, they’ll kill each if they’re in the same room.”

“Then...maybe we can force them to work together!” He suggested, Monika and Grace looked at each other and back at Timur.

“Force?”

“We do a training exercise in the facility next to here, us versus them.”

“Ok, that makes five for them but what about u- oh my fucking god.” Timur somehow managed to get his unit and the Canadians to team up, Monika brought Marius and Julien to make it even. They were the attackers well the Canadians and his unit were the defenders, Timur gathered them in a circle to discuss their strategy with Grace staring at the hacked cameras.

“Ok, Monika, take Julien and Marius to the front and scan the entrances and windows for Maxim’s traps. Then found a room to secure so Jager can set his device and we can use it to hide when things get sticky, I’ll stay outside to cover rear sup-”

“They already killed each other.” Grace interrupted, she showed them the scoreboard and saw that they were all eliminated, Timur sighed as they watched the enemy operators walk back to base before they started a fight again. They returned to the Germans barracks to think of their next plan.

“ That didn’t work…”

“It was fun watching them kill each other, I have the recording if you wanna see?”

“I...don’t.”

“When my parents got into a fight, me and my sister would make their favorite dessert and then my sister would copy their handwriting and make a note to put on top of it. Then we leave it in their way and they kiss and make up.” Julien told.

“Julien? Why is the walking chess piece still with us?”

“You guys seem to be having fun and I got bored...”

“This is a serious problem, Julien…” Timur reminded him.

“Awww, ok…” Julien started walking slowly and dramatically out the door, Timur sighed and told him he can help. He bolted back to the bed and got excited for the next plan.

“So, how well did that trick work for your parents?”

“All the time, they never even question it either!”

“Then could it be that they knew it was from you and your sister and pretended it was from the other?” Grace pointed out.

“That...I...didn’t think about that, i’m sure they didn’t know.”

“Well, it’s worth a shot. Monika is a great cook and the rest of us know how to work in the kitchen, to the mess hall!” They arrived at the kitchen and opened up the cupboards, Grace pulled up some dessert recipes that are commonly used in Canada.

“The good thing about my unit is that their taste in desserts are very basic, so a cake should suffice.”

“What cake did you have in mind?”

“Drunken chocolate cake, if there’s one stereotype about us that’s true, it’s our love for alcohol. I brought the cake for Alex and Shuhrat when we were out once and they loved it...and ate it without giving me a slice. Grace, found any good Canadian dessert?”

“I found a good one, it’s the Hummingbird cake. I have the recipes for both our desserts.”

“Ok, let’s set them out and get to work. I’ll take Monika well you take Julien, Grace.” They all nodded and got to work, they preheated their ovens, gathered their ingredients and followed the recipes. Timur forgot how fun cooking was, especially with people helping. Grace smacks Julien with the wooden spoon whenever he tries to taste the batter, Monika blowing a fist full of flour into Grace’s face and dirtying her glasses. Timur laughing at her flour covered face only to be pelted with pecans from Grace, little wholesome things like this took the tiredness from his eyes. They did the finishes of their desserts and placed a sheet over it, they were confident in their work and wanted to wait till the other was finished.

“Ok, we’ll reveal at three. 1, 2, 3!” They pulled the sheets off and expected a masterpiece, but were met with failed expectations. The desserts looked horrifying and disgusting, the group starred with blank faces as they were confused how they failed to make the desserts.

“W-what happened, we followed the recipes! How did we-” Timur looked at the countertop, they did have the right stuff for the desserts, but they worked on the wrong sides. The ingredients for Timur and Monika were on the left side, but they worked on the right. The ingredients for Grace and Julien were on the right, but they worked on the left. They must have accidentally switched sides, he looked back at the cakes and hoped to salvage them.

“I-is it supposed to be bubbling?”

“I think this one is hissing?” Monika questioned.

“I-I’m sure it might still taste g-good, Julien?”

“No way, I don’t want to eat it, Grace?”

“Fuck off, i’m not eating it! Hmmm?” Grace noticed Jordan at one of the outside troubles with Mike, she took a small scoop of desserts and brought it to them.

“Hey you two!”

“Hey Grace, what you got there?” Jordan asked.

“I was baking something with some friends and we needed taste testers, have some!” She handed them the spoons and put it in their mouths. They shook their heads in delight, they were enjoying the food. Grace gave them the thumbs up and they boxed the desserts up, wrote a note, cleaned up and left the kitchen. Jordan and Mike watch the four bolts of the mess hall, wondering what they were doing. As the question popped up, their stomach rumbled, they felt nauseous and turned green. Their bowls were acting up and they had the need to vomit and use the toilet, they went to a bathroom and that’s the last time anyone saw those two for the rest of the day. Grace and Julian placed the gift at their door and knocked, they ran to a corner to hide behind to watch their reaction, Monika and Timur did the same. They watched the doors open, Tina picked up the box with Sebastian and observed the note.

“It’s from Spetsnaz, they write an apology on the note.”

“We dealt with them already today, Tina.”

“I know, but i’m still curi- WHAT THE FUCK!?” They saw the disgusting looking cake that was gifted to them, Tina also noticed a few pecans inside the cake.

“I’m fucking allergic to nuts! Damn bastards, i’m throwing this sick joke in the trash!” Tina slammed the door, Julien and Grace looked at each other knowing that they made things worse. Now it was the other two turn, the door opened and Maxim saw the box and picked it up. Alex was behind him.

“Maxim, who’s it from?”

“The Canadians (but this is Timur’s handwriting.) it’s an apology note, but what’s in- Oh dear god!” Maxim and Alex's reaction was just the same, they were disgusted with the sight of the dessert. Alex shouted that he’s throwing it away, it was a death sentence to ingest that cake. Timur sighed as they returned back to the German’s, they cleaned themselves before flopping on the couch.

“Whelp, at least they didn’t eat it.” Julien said, trying to bring some light to their failure.

“UGGGHHHHH! This is too difficult, what’s our next move?”

“A nap, I helped for hours, I earned it. I’ll come back once I wake up.” She flopped on one of the beds and snatched the blanket over her. Dominic, who was in the same bed sighed and held himself as he tried to nap himself. The door to the barrack opened and Ash came inside with a package in her hand.

“Sorry to intrude, but have any of you seen Jordan or Mike?” She asked, they all froze up for a split second and shook their heads no.

“Dammit, this needs to be dropped off to someone in the city. It was supposed to be Mike or Jordan, but I can’t find them. Hope they’re not puking or shitting their brains out. Hmmmm, Timur, you think you deliver it? I’ll send the location to you and you should be fine, it’s just a simple trade.”

“Sure, anything from this disaster we've been dealing with. Everyone, thanks for today’s help.” Timur left with Ash as the door closed behind them. Maxim gazed at Timur’s bed, he didn’t return last night and haven’t seen him all day besides this morning training. He doesn't blame him, he remembered seeing Canadians yelling at him then running out of the door soon after. He wanted to go after him, but he had to clean up and pay for the mess he and the others made. He walked to his dresser and picked up the photo of him and his uncle.

“(Grace said his father didn’t have a brother and none on his mom side looks like him, so he isn’t related by blood, family friend then?)”

“Maxim.”

“Y-yes?”

“I’m going to step out and look for Timur, I got worried when he wasn’t in his barracks after training. Don’t worry about making me dinner.”

“...but it’s your turn-”

“Ssshhhh, i’ll be back.” Alex stepped out and Maxim did too, he went outside to lean against the railing. The cold autumn wind blew on his coat as he gazed upon the open night sky, he remembered how Timur would always look up for hours just watching the stars twinkle in the sky. it felt odd not having him next to him stargazing.

“Good evening, Maxim!”

“Roo- I mean, Julien. How are you?”

“A bit on edge, I was with Timur all day and man it was crazy.”

“He was with you?”

“Yeah, it was him, me, Monika and Grace.” It felt foreign to hear that he was with someone who wasn't Tina and Sebastian.

“Why was he with them?”

“I don’t know, I was just tagged along but-”

“But?”

“Has...Timur seemed odd to you? He has dark circles and bags under his eyes, I even saw bits of grey in his beard.”

“I just know that he’s having problems right now and isn’t telling anyone about them. If I had some type of hint it’ll be great… but-”

“Um, I don’t know if this would help. But I remember months ago, particularly last winter. Timur was on his phone talking to his...dad I assumed, but when he was finished, his eyes were red.”

“Red?”

“Like he was crying, I came over to him to see what was wrong. I saw him quickly wipe his face but I could still see the tear stains. He told me he received some bad news but he’ll be ok and left, I minded my business but I was really worried.”

“(His uncle maybe!? Wait, come to think of it, Timur used to talk about his dad very often before he suddenly stopped. Think Alex pointed that out too, so maybe family is the problem? No, there has to be more than that, that’s just one piece of something bigger but what!?)”

“Maxim?”

“O-oh it’s nothing, thank you for telling me this.” Maxim rushed inside to do a little more investigating, but he ran into Tina and Sebastian.

“Great…”

“Beat it, Kapkan! We don’t have time for your shit!”

“Expect me to believe that with that sick joke you sent my door!?” He barked back. The duo paused and were annoyed by that remark.

“We didn’t send shit, you sent that shitty cake to use with pecan. I’m allergic, asshole!”

“Hearing you being choked up would have been music to my ears.”

“Oh you fucking ass-” She paused when she heard someone runinng their way, Grace came out of breath with her phone ready.

“I felt tension and I came as fast as I could!”

“Anyways, with how you talk to us, no wonder Timur doesn’t trust you!”

“Watch your mouth! I may not know what’s going on but he’s a Spetsnaz and i’m here for him.

“He’s unfortunate to be stuck with people like you!

“He’s perfectly fine working with us!

“He clearly isn’t!”

“He’s in a stretcher.” Grace interrupted and pointed down the whole, Gustave was rushing Timur into the ER alongside Ash. They followed him but weren’t allowed in, Ash prohibited them from entering. She told him that Timur’s injuries weren’t life threatening, but he needs to be left in Gustav care. He can visit him once he’s done.

“Man, I wonder what happened?”

“How can you be completely unfazed, Grace?”

“Well Tina, I just look at the fact that he’s alive. I won’t let myself get depressed about what ifs when it hasn’t happened. Anyways, the feud over. I’m going back.” Grace left and soon did Tina and Sebastian, leaving Maxim by himself in front of the ER entrance. He clenched his fist and went back to his barracks, he pulled up his laptop and spent hours on trying to find anything that could help him understand what’s wrong with Timur. Articles, videos, documents, anything but nothing helped. He can’t give up, Timur’s health is being affected by his crumbling mentality and if it doesn’t stop. No, he doesn’t want to think about that. He kept searching and searching for an answer, the clock struck 2am. He found nothing, he reached a dead end in his search for an answer. He pinched his eyes in frustration, he was tired from staring at a screen for so long. He lightly slammed his fist on the keyboard as he called it a night, but the laptop brought him to a website. He sighed and decided to give it on more go, the website displayed an article regarding the LGBT community. Maxim scratched his chin and began reading it, the article talked about the deaths in other countries regarding them. Maxim stomach turned, he knew that the articles meant them being murdered. He was sickened by the numbers of the countries. Russia holds one of the highest death counts, sometimes he finds it hard to believe he came from a country with such hate. A thought came into his head, maybe, just maybe that this might be related to Timur. But he lacks information, he can’t go off of this, but he has to try. It’s his only lead, he put on his slippers and ran to Grace’s barracks. He knocked on the door and Marasu opened it.

“Maxim? Why are you here so late?”

“I can ask why you’re up so late, don’t you have training to do in the morning?”

“Eh, but do you need something?”

“Yes, I need to speak to Grace, it'll be quick.” Maxim barged in and ran to Grace’s bed and shook her body.

“Maxim, wait! She doesn't like it when-”

“When what-” Maxim eyes fixed on Grace who suddenly woke up and punched Maxim right into his eye.

“When someone wakes her up well sleeping…” Maxim fell to the floor, holding his eye well Grace grabbed her glasses and rubbed her eyes.

“THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!?”

“YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO PUNCH MY FUCKING EYE!”

“YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO WAKE ME UP, BUT LOOK WHAT YOU DID, SHERLOCK!? Ugh, what do you want?”

“AN ICE PACK!”

“Here's a bag of frozen corn.” Marasu handed him.

“...Thanks. Grace, I have something to ask.”

“I swear to god, if it involves Timur-”

“It involves Timur.”

“*Deep inhale* I should have minded my business.”

“Can you search up any articles, news or whatever regarding any LGBT deaths in Russia, specifically from Vladivostok between 2002 and to 2007?”

“Why?”

“Just do it!”

“Fine, jesus.” She grabbed her laptop well Marasu climbed into a bed, Maxim sat next to her and looked over her shoulder.

“Ok, scanning…”

“Well?”

“Huh, there is one article, it was written by a foreigner who was visiting the place, listen. On May 21th 2003, there was a report of a brutal incident that occurred in the town. The name of the man wasn’t put in because no one told the author. A man and his male lover were caught and dragged into public, they were surrounded by people as they threw hateful slurs at them, the two men were beaten to death by a lot of blunt objects like wooden poles and stone and shit.”

“Pictures of the victims?”

“Only one, the author said the other man's face was too beaten to use. Ok, I fou- oh shit!” Maxim saw the image, it matched the photo on Timur’s dresser.

“No way, so this was his so-called uncle. He was a family friend and must have been very important in Timur’s life for a long time.”

“Are there any more images?”

“Just one more, oh...no...” It was one more image on the site, it was a young boy in his teenage years covered in blood. He was on top of the man holding a blood soaked rock.

“T-Timur!?”

“This is it, this must be his nightmare. Timur...killing his uncle.”


	2. Solution from another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timur is on the verge of losing himself, but Maxim isn't giving up. He'll dive into this mess to find an answer to save his dear friend before the worse happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some quick clarification. They been in Rainbow for 4 years meaning they're older. Now's Maxim turn to be the main focus of the story, hope you'll enjoy it.

Maxim and Grace continued to stare at the image on the article, Timur was covered in blood with a rock in his hand. Grace asked if Maxim wanted to do some type of face scan but it was unnecessary, he knew Timur’s appearance like the back of his hand, it was him. Timur turned off Grace’s laptop and stood up, he walked back and forth in front of her trying to piece things together. He violently rubbed his head and walked out the barracks and towards the ER, Grace put on some slippers and followed. She eventually caught up to him and saw his face, he wanted answers and she felt like he’s going to make things worse. She isn’t the one to care for others, but she does like being around Timur and rather not escalate the problem. They reached the ER room and saw Timur in his bed through the glass window, Grace placed herself in front of the door to keep Maxim from entering.

“Out of the way!”

“No way, the fuck is your plan anyway!?”

“I’m going to ask Timur of his past, shouldn’t that be obvious?”

“No, vodka breath! Think, if you go in asking of his past, it’s just going to make him even more stressed than he already is!”

“Then I just tell him that we-”

“Invaded his privacy to dig up his past that he wasn’t comfortable sharing!? Oh yeah, sure. Let’s do that so he can distrust you even more. Look, we shouldn’t tell him or anyone else what we know...I think. With how his head is now, he’ll panic and reject the very thought and continue to hide from us!”

“Then how do we approach this!?”

“I don’t fucking know man, but I do know barging in at 2am in the fucking morning and demanding answers like this isn’t the answer!” Grace gave, Maxim looked at her and gripped his head in frustration. He looked back at the window and looked longingly at Timur, his wounds patched with bandages around his arms and legs. But it was light, meaning his injuries were minor despite the blood they saw. Maxim sighed exhaustedly and walked away, he returned to his barrack, grabbed Timur’s sketchbook and laid down on his bed. He flipped through it and recognized the drawings inside, this was Timur's first book he used to sketch when they were sent on their first mission. He remembered how they didn’t get along at first with Shuhrat and Alex, Timur kept to himself and didn’t say a word. It caused major coordination issues and made some assignments difficult when it shouldn't, but he remembered that day when Timur finally said something. Maxim was in the city’s park late at night for a new place of scenery, to get away from the base and his unit before he started another fight with Alex. It was spring during the time, but the nights were still cold. Even though the park was lovely, it was boring. This was a place to enjoy with someone next, not by yourself. But that’s when it happened, Timur sat down next to him and pulled out the sketchbook and removed the pencil from his ear and drew.

“( **Great, I get the quiet one.** *sigh* **I asked for a nice change of pace, not for things to get more boring.** )”

“ **How was your evening, you didn’t seem like the type of person to wander around late nights**.” Timur asked, Maxim was caught in quite a shock. His voice was a perfect middle ground, his eyes were blue as the sea as he saw himself getting lost in them. He wore a hat that he remembered Mike giving him as a welcoming gift. Maxim stopped his inspection and answered back.

“ **I can be a man of many things, I didn’t know you could talk?** ”

“ **Well...you all were yelling with each other, so I just shut up. But out of all of you, you seemed like the one who was easier to talk to. I’ll eventually talk to the others, but I wanted to talk to you first, hope it doesn’t weird you out**.”

“ **Not at all, I was hoping to get a nice little change of pace, just didn’t expect it to be you.** ”

“ **Well wish granted I guess, guess we should start with proper introductions instead of our codenames. I’m Timur Glazkov, pleasure to meet you.”** He said with his hand offering a handshake to Maxim. He accepted it and gave his name.

“ **Maxim Basuda, nice to meet you too. Sorry if this sounds rude, but you look younger than the others, even myself.** ” He pointed out, Timur put the pencil behind his ear again and scratched his chin.

“ **Guess it’s kinda noticeable,huh? Yeah, I am the youngest it seems despite turning thirty this July.** ” he answered.

“ **I’ll keep note, what are you sketching?** ”

“ **The park but it lacks...something…** ” he answered as he pulled himself closer to Maxim, Maxim didn’t like the personal space Timur was invading. Timur backed off and constantly switched between the park and Maxim until he clapped his hands together and smiled.

“ **Can you go over to where that tree is?** ”

“ **Uh...sure. OK, LIKE THIS?** ”

 **“LIFT YOUR HAND LIKE YOU’RE REACHING SOMETHING AND LOOK UPWARDS TOO!** ” He shouted back, Maxim shrugged his shoulders and tried his best to do what was requested. Being faster than lighting, Timur sketched for a short period before calling over Maxim. By the time he came back, Timur was done with his sketch and showed it.

“ **This is just a sketch!? It looked like a completed drawing!** ”

“ **Ha, I get that a lot. I’m an artist when I’m not shooting someone’s brains out with my rifle, you?** ”

“ **I hunt, sorry for such a lackluster answer.** ”

“ **No need, simple answers are sometimes better than long ones, even if it’s lackluster. A lot of people find art boring, i’m sure some find hunting boring as well. Anyways, if...it’s ok with you, may I...draw you sometime or use you for more sketching?** ”

“ **Haha, treat me to dinner first before asking such a thing.** ”

“ **Well, it’s only a little after 11pm. I’m sure some cheap restaurant is still open, how about we go look for some?** ” He asked, Maxim smiled as he rose up from the bench and stretched his arms before agreeing. Such a sweet memory, but he was brought back to the present, the present where Timur was hurting inside. He didn’t bother with the other drawings as he closed the sketchbook, pulled his blanket over him and closed his eyes.

“(Calm down, Maxim. You have to figure out how we can do this without upsetting Timur, he needs me, I have to help him! *Sigh* Guess I should find Yumiko and Grace to see what we can do...)

Maxim woke up to Alex and Shuhrat having coffee with each other, it was odd to see them in their barracks in the morning since they’re normally gone or in the workshop. Maxim went to the bathroom to freshen up and once he was done, he made his own cup of coffee.

“Maxim, we heard that Timur was rushed to the ER last night.” Alex mentioned.

“I’m assuming Doc told you?” he asked, Shuhrat put down his cup and showed Maxim a message on his phone from Grace. It was a photo of her in the corner of the picture with Timur behind her.

“Yo, I can’t believe this art bitch is still alive! Yup, that’s from Grace alright. Never understood what Timur sees in her…”

“Think the more important question is why you left the barracks last night and i’m not going to take any half assed excuse, we both know it’s because of Timur. Maxim, what is going on!?”

“Shuhrat is right, what is happening to him!? Anyone with eyes can see he’s troubled, the bags and dark circles, his skin is getting paler and he’s being waking up at odd periods at night.” Alex complained, Maxim couldn’t answer, he just stared in confliction, he didn’t know if he should tell them about the article he found.

“I...fuck, I can’t…” He gave, Alex dropped his cup and slammed Maxim against the wall. He was red from boiling rage, he was tired of him and Timur dodging his question when he expressed concern for his unit.

“AND WHY THE FUCK NOT!?”

“GET OFF ME, ALEX!?”

“Maxim, as much as I hate to say it, he’s right. We’re a team, but as soon as Timur started avoiding us, it damaged our trust within each other. Now you’re not telling us anything!? Do you not trust us too!?”

“No, it’s not that at all!”

“Then what is it!?”

“Just...let me handle Tim-”

“TO HELL WITH THAT!” Alex shouted, throwing Maxim away and headed to the door. Maxim quickly got up and grabbed Alex’s arm.

“Where are you going!?”

“To get the answers out of Timur’s mouth if you’re not gonna tell me!”

“Are you fucking insane!? You’re going to make things worse-”

“What you say is invalid, now move!”

“No, i’m not letting you near him!”

“If you don’t move, i’ll force you!”

“Then you bet-” Maxim couldn’t finish his threat before Alex turned around and punched Maxim in his other eye and another to his face. Maxim soon woke up on a bed in the ER, Gustave turned around from his chair, chewing the end of his pen then tapping it on a clipboard.

“Two black eyes within hours in between each other, how the hell did you manage to do that?”

“Pissed off a woman in her sleep and pissed off a man that matched the size of a bear.”

“That’ll do it.”

“How the hell did I get here?”

“Alex brought you, he told me he knocked you out because of Timur.”

“Speaking of, where is he?”

“That’s what I wanted to ask, I told him he isn’t allowed to leave despite his wounds being minor. But as soon as I came back, he was gone. Technically he is free to do what he wants, I should have expected this from his current state?” he said as he went back to chewing his pen, Maxim rose up and looked at him in confusion.

“Current state?” he repeated, Gustave stopped his chewing and rolled over closer to Maxim. He shuffled the papers on the board until he pulled up Timur’s, sweat rolled down Maxim's face when he saw what was recorded.

“Timur’s stress level rose even further than last time, he’s sleep deprived and it’s causing blurriness in his vision. Not to mention minor hallucinations he has been seeing, severe headaches and abdominal pain, drow-”

“Ok, ok, I can read!”

“Maxim, i’m going to be honest with you. Timur can die if this continues, stress can lead to a painful heart attack. If someone doesn't find out what is causing this to happen, well...there will be four spetsnaz instead of five.” He explained, Gustave pushed himself away and rolled to Jordan and Mike.

“What happened to them?”

“Goose found them in the bathroom near the mess hall, they ate something and they blasted out both their ass and mouth, poor bastards.”

“Kill…us…”

“They don't pay me enough to do that.”

“Anyways, can I leave now?”

“Sure, avoid anything that involves your eyes and take some pain relief to reduce the pain. Take one of the ice packs too.”

Maxim took the ice pack and left the ER, but before he took his first few steps, his name was called for a training session. He sighed as he knew Gustave told him to rest, but he ignored it because he dealt with worse. He quickly went to his barracks and changed into his combat uniform, he was on defense with Max, Tina, Dominic, and Julien. They had to protect the objective against Timur, Yumiko, Grace, Monika and Elias. These groups went to the faculty as the defense team set up for the attackers, Maxim went around and screwed in his traps where he thought the attackers would pass by. Unfortunately, they may be destroyed considering that Monika completely counters him. He returned by to the objective room as they still had time before the attackers started their assault, Tina sat next to Maxim as they waited.

“How...is he?” she asked, Maxim was silent at first, but he doesn’t want to start another fight or want another injury on his face.

“Terrible, Doc said if this keeps up he could die…”

“Die!? Shit, I can’t believe it got this far...oh who am I kidding, I made it worse.”

“How?”

“When we fought in the mess hall, me and Buck yelled at him before watching him run out. I...was so heated that I took it out on him when it wasn’t his fault.”

“Don’t blame yourself, I didn’t help either. Keep picking fights with you and demanding answers and now I can’t do anything.”

“Hey, if you need any help, don’t be afraid to ask, ok?”

“Yeah...I will thank you. Oh, looks like they’re coming.”

Tina and Maxim station themselves, the rest roam around to catch one of the attackers when they’re not looking. After sometime, an announcement was made. Timur eliminated Julien with a headshot, he must have spawned peeked and paid the price. The others laughed as it was very classic of him doing that in every match, but soon another elimination but it was friendly fire. Elias was shot by Timur, Timur rubbed his eyes and looked at the scoreboard. Soon his com came on and it was Grace who was yelling at him.

“Timur, what the hell! Why did you kill Elias!?”

“I...What?”

“You shot him!”

“N-no, I'm sure it was someone else…” He tried to explain himself, but even he began to doubt himself. Yumiko looked through the window and looked in Timur’s direction but that was a mistake, Timur someone in that window and reacted instantly. Yumiko saw he went for his rifle and shouted duck, Grace ducked in time but not Monika. Another announcement was made and it was told that Timur eliminated Monika, Maxim and Tina face showed that they were getting worried. They heard scratching on the floor and saw that Julien was crawling towards them, he laid down with his tongue out pretending to be dead.

“Maxim, what’s going on? Why is Timur killing his team?”

“I don’t know, this isn’t like-”

“Hibana and Dokaebbi eliminated by Kapkan.” another announcement interrupted.

“(They must have not noticed the traps because of Timur…)everyone, return to the room. I’ll roam around and find Glaz.”

Maxim exited the room and began roaming in the basement since that was the trap that went off. His investigation led him to a room with a large opening to outside, he assumed it was from Yumiko’s gadget.

“Watch where you’re stepping, fatass!” Grace threatened, Maxim looked below and saw his boot on her face. He snickered at her misfortune, only to dodge a knife she threw at his face.

“Laugh again, asshole!”

“Errr, where’s Timur?”

“Foot. off. My. face. FIRST!”

“Whining brat, there.”

“Manlet! He went down the hall, so try one of the rooms.” She answered, Maxim walked to the rooms and checked if Timur was in one. He searched five rooms and found nothing until he came to the last one, Timur was inside and on his knees. He was shaking with his hands on his head, the room was filled with dread as Timur pulled out his handgun and stared at himself from the reflective metal. The gun wasn't going to kill him, but his mind told him it would. He could end it right there, he grew a crooked smile and raised it up a bit to his head.

“You know that isn’t going to kill you, at best it’ll just put a knot on your head.” Maxim intervened, Timur jumped and fumbled his footing.

“M-Maxim, I-”

“Timur, why are you here? Doc said you shouldn’t have left the ER.”

“This is coming from the guy with two black eyes?”

“H-how do you-” Timur held up his phone and showed him a picture of Grace with Maxim in the background.

“Homie’s out here with two black eyes looking like big ass grapes. God I hate her. That still doesn’t answer my question.”

“I was fine, I didn’t need to stay-”

“You had to-”

“I SAID I WAS FINE!” He screamed, this was the first time he ever raised his voice at him. Maxim took a step forward only for Timur to take one back.

“STAY BACK, please...I don’t want to do something i’ll regret…”

“Timur...why don’t you trust me? Have I done something, if so please tell me. Your well being is more important to me than anything else, if there’s something I can please let me know!” he asked, Maxim noticed that Timur’s eyes were getting teary.

“...*Sniffle* M-Maxim...I n-need h-”

“Glaz has been eliminated by Mozzie, defenders win!”

“Right now! Hey Kap, I saw on the camera that he was down here and thought he had you pinned. So I came by and did the final blow, haha.” He explained, Maxim turned around and gave the small man a petrifying gaze. Max froze up as he could tell he messed something up, Maxim picked Max up and returned back to the base. He threw Grace an ice pack and it landed on her face, she stuck her middle finger at him as he sat down next to her well Max flopped his body on their lap.

“Ever heard of handing someone something?”

“Ever heard of saying thank you?” He threw back.

“Ever hea-”

“SHUT UP, MAX!” they shouted simultaneously.

“Old man, how was he? I couldn’t really tell with all the paint.”

“Worse than before, he...tried to use the handgun to…”

“God...so what’s the game plan?”

“Hmmm...maybe calling his dad?”

“Have you even met his da- GET THE FUCK OFF US!” she screamed, pushing Max off of them. Max stood up and fiddled with his mustache.

“Sorry for keeping my ears open but it seems like you guys are in a bit of a pickle, may I offer a word of advice?”

“From a daredevil who almost got Marasu and Erik brains splattered in a car ride.”

“They didn’t mind it-”

“Only because they don’t talk.” she reminded him.

“Look, I know what I’m saying. I am a father after all.”

“How much pot did that woman smoke to let a manlet knock her up?” Grace questioned, covering her mouth with her hand and pushing up her glasses. Max got angry and cursed at her but all that did was fuel her ego.

“Damn Grace, a little harsh?”

“No. Go ahead, Max.”

“When the wife gets mad at me and doesn’t tell me, I send a drone in and listen on her phone calls. Then I apologize for what I did and bam!”

“...sure, I definitely have a drone to use to spy on Timur like a fucking creep. Thanks Max, you 100% helped. Please, best we can do is get someone to spy on him but there’s no one in this base who is stealthy enough to literally be next to Timur-”

“I can.” Nokk cut in, she looked and saw everyone hugged against the wall, Maxim holding his chest and felt his beating heart. Grace turned purple and hid behind Maxim, Max was shook with fear and hugged Maxim's leg. Nokk was a mysterious woman that was a recent addition to Rainbow, no one knew her age, face, her real name. People forget she’s even an operative and whenever her name was spoken, she appears like a curse.

“N-Nokk!? How long have you been there!?”

“The whole time, sorry for the intrusion but you mentioned stealth. I figured you guys might need my assistance, but it seems like I scared you all. I can go-”

“No, it’s ok. *sigh* I hate this but have you seen Timur, he didn’t return back to his barracks and-”

“He is in his art station, but his drawings are...dark.”

“Dark?”

“His work was like a ray of light, so wholesome and warming. But now they’re dark, disturbing, dreadful. But more importantly, it looked li ke Timur was trying to keep himself awake.”

“What do you mean?”

“He kept drifting off to sleep, like he didn’t sleep last night or woke up earlier than usual.” She explained, Maxim looked at Grace and she shrugged her shoulders. He sighed and kicked off Max and took Nokk’s offer.

“Nokk, can you...spy on Timur and watch what he does or say?”

“Anything in particular?”

“Anything relating to his nightmare and family, please?”

“I'll leave now, Timur has been locking the door recently, i’ll report once I find anything useful.”

“You hear that Grace, thank you-” Maxim paused in confusion, Nokk disappeared again but none of them saw her leave. After his heart stopped beating, he left back to his barracks and flopped to his bed. He turned to Timur’s bed from across the room, it looked brand new because he hasn’t been sleeping in it for a while.

“(Neatly folded like no one ever slept in it, *sigh* what did I do...seriously.)” he keeps asking himself, he then thought back to the room. What was he going to say before Max shot him, it was an odd thought but it sounded like he was trying to say help. He violently rubbed his head again and threw his pillow in frustration, he laid back down and pulled out his phone. He went to his messages and looked at Timur’s, he hasn't message back since they departed for their mission with the Canadians. It was photos of his sketchbooks to see which one Maxim liked more, he missed these messages. Timur never asked anyone else for their opinion but Maxims, he always takes pride in that, it made him feel special. It was comforting for Maxim, Timur always coming to him whenever he was in need of something. Maxim even questioned why he only came to him and whenever he remembered the answer, his chest felt warm.

“Well...I just feel more safe asking you than anyone else” he’ll say, Maxim laughed. They have been in Rainbow for four years now and he is always honest with him. Even with Yumiko and Grace around, he still chose him. Maxim didn’t think of someone getting close to him, to be friends, no, best friends with someone. But now, Timur continues to avoid him, and it brings pain to his chest. Maxim has been stabbed, punched, kicked, shot at, but the pain of Timur avoiding him was far greater.

“(I’ll find the answer, Timur...I promise…)” he told himself, he didn’t look at the clock before drifting off to sleep, he just wanted the day to be over. The next morning arrived and Maxim woke up and rubbed his eyes. He yawned and turned to see Alex and Shuhrat against the wall, faces were purple and sweat rolling.

“What’s wrong?”

“H-H-H-HER!” Shuhrat managed to say, Maxim swallowed his spit and sweated himself. He felt a looming presence behind him, he slowly turned his head, face turning purple as he saw Nokk behind him. She placed her hand on his shoulder and moved closer, Shuhrat and Alex seized the moment and exited the room without bothering to help Maxim.

“ASSHOLES!”

“Maxim, I learned something.”

“(Jesus fucking Christ, I thought I pissed her off or something) what did you learn?”

“Timur didn’t sleep last night, but he did doze off here and there. He talked in his sleep, he never did something like that so it must be from his crumbling mental state.”

“(Not surprising she of all people knows that.)”

“He spoke in Russian but I translated it-”

“You speak Russian?”

“A bit, it was like he was talking to himself. He said “ **Of course father would disowned me from my life choices**.”

“Timur...was disowned by his father…?”

“His whole family, his phone was unlocked and I remembered him having a number of contacts from with his family but now they’re gone. I woke up Grace and had her go through his phone, the contacts were deleted around winter of last year.” Maxim’s eyes grew, that was around the time where Julien saw Timur cry after his phone call. But Maxim already knew a piece of his troubles was family, but the disowning part, what has Timur done that could have made them disown him? That when it came to him, the article he found with Grace. He put the pieces together and came to the conclusion that he was gay, at least that's his main lead for right now but something was lacking. He found his past, he knows he gay, he knows he’s disowned by his family, so he the reason why Timur doesn’t trust his unit could be that they’re Russian and think they wouldn’t accept him. That was the answer, but something in his gut was saying there’s one more piece missing. He could worry about that later, now he got to work on the distrusting issue with Alex and Shurat but how? Alex's problem solving skills are just ramming straight through well Shuhrat just blows things up, he knows they love Timur and wants to support him but Maxim fears that they’ll make things worse with their methods. Since they were out, he had to go to the next best thing. He got dressed and went to Grace’s barracks, he knocked on the door and it slightly opened. He called Grace’s name only to see her hiding behind Dominic because Nokk was in front of them, Dominic's face was purple and even his body shook in fear.

“Nokk, how did you get here so fast?”

“I didn’t, I was right next to you but I did walk a little faster.”

“Maxim, why the hell is the woman with a napkin over her face here!?”

“Sorry, she was with me but never mind that. I came for help.”

“*Sigh* I really shouldn’t have stuck my nose, what did you have in mind?”

“I...uh…Dominic, w-why are you here?”

“(Nice way to dodge the question.)”

“I came here so Grace could jailbreak my console...until Nokk happened. I was going to get Timur for a rematch in a fighting game we played but I haven’t seen him-”

“Because he’s in the shooting range.” Nokk answered, Maxim’s heart dropped. Timur isn’t in any shape for any type of training, he bit his lip and left to the shooting range. He burst open the door to the shooting range and saw Timur with Max.

“Timur!”

“...” silence was his response, he went back to shooting his targets. Maxim looked at the target's speed, it was slow, far too slow from what Timur usually sets it to. Maxim called for him again and again, demanding him to answer. Timur took out the ear plugs, threw his rifle to the ground and darted his eyes at Maxim. Maxim’s heart sunk deeper once he saw his face, his skin was paler than white, eyes red as blood, the dark circles were darker and more bags were under them. It was as Nokk said, Timur hasn’t been sleeping recently and it’s changing his appearance. Timur let out a violent cough and clenched his chest like it was in pain, it’s just as Gustave said, he’s in pain emotionally and physically.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT!?”

“...Timur, listen to me. You’re very unhealthy right now-”

“I’m fine-”

“You’re not!”

“AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW!? Just...things get worse every moment and all I have to do it avoid it-”

“And you did a great job with that yesterday, right!?” he cut in, Timur gripped Maxim's shirt and pulled him in. Maxim showed fear in his eyes, Timur never put his hands on him so violently before. He stared into his red eyes, watching the veins growing into his iris and pupil, shaking with rage or murderous intent. Timur has always been the timid one out of his unit, now to see him doing the polar opposite was like witnessing a murder. Grace and Nokk came in just to see the dispute happening to dear friends.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, MAXIM! Just...shut up, I...know what i’m doing-”

“You don’t, Timur! Killing your team, not sleeping, avoiding me, you just cut-” Timur balled a fist and launched Maxim's way, Timur stopped inches from his face. Maxim watched the fist tremble like a traumatized child, Timur slowly pulled it away and released Maxim. An image of his past flickered on his hands, blood stained with a rock in one and Maxim’s appearance turning into his uncle.

“Hey dudes, like keep this civil and relax.” Max suggested, but Timur ran out the room without looking at anyone. Max slid his way to Grace and whispered to her.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“A lot and it isn’t your business. Maxim, Doc wants us, he seemed pretty serious.”

“...”

“MAXIM!”

“O-oh, sorry. Let’s go see Doc.” He picked up Timur’s rifle, locked it up and headed to the ER. Gustave was chewing his pen again, looking at some notes on his clipboard, he lifted his head up when he heard his door open and saw Maxim and Grace. He got off his chair and closed the blinds on the window and sat back down.

“I suggest you take a seat.”

“Ok, what is- I shouldn’t even ask, right?”

“Bingo, here. I ran some tests on Timur yesterday night after he came to me.”

“Why?”

“He asked if I had anything that could keep him up, he would rather save the trip to a drug store and ask me instead. I told him I did but I refused to give it, that’s when his mood shifted instantly. He was enraged, he threatened me but all I did was turn my back on him. Then he started laughing and spun in the chair he was on. Then he walked away and I told him he should sleep, do you know what he told me?”

“What?”

“I can’t see the nightmare if I don’t close my eyes and sleep.”

“Jesus…”

“So here’s the plan, I'll let Yumiko sweet talk him and walk him close to here. Once he’s near, we’ll force him and inject a very small dose of propofol inside. He’ll put him to sleep for about thirty minutes-”

“Why thirty?” Grace questioned.

“Putting him into a forced sleep too long with his nightmare will only cause more stress and problems, which can trigger a heart attack, something we don’t want. Grace, Yumiko and I will hold him down well you inject the propofol in him, ok?”

“...ok.”

“It’s for his own good. Come on, Yumiko is already bringing him here.” He told, Maxim didn’t expect it to be now but better soon than later. A few moments later, Yumiko managed to carry on a conversation with Timur to distract them on where they were going. They stopped in front of the door, Timur squinted his eyes and realized they were in front of the ER.

“NOW!” Yumiko shouted, the door burst open and Timur was suddenly being pulled to a bed and held done. He kicked, he threatened, he begged, he squirmed. Whatever they were plotting frightened him. Despite three people holding him down, it was proving to be a bit of a struggle.

“Got damn, the fuck do he be eating to make this shit so damn hard!? And why are we holding him down, couldn’t we just strap him in!?”

“Just shut up and hold him down, Maxim, the propofol!” Gustave asked, Maxim picked up the needle with the fluid and approached Timur. Timur's eyes were fixated on the needle as he knew they were trying to put him to sleep, but he didn’t want to, he’ll see the nightmare again. That fear gave him more strength to fight against the three holding him down, Maxim was wasting time, he needed to act now.

“MAXIM, PLEASE NO. I...I don’t want to see it, please don’t make me see it again. I can’t *sniffle* I-I can’t keep witnessing it.” He pleaded, Timur stopped his fighting and locked his gaze with Maxim. Tears streamed down his face, eyes still red but they were innocent. Maxim knows he hates the nightmare, but he needs time to figure things out and knowing that Timur is asleep, even for just thirty minutes, could help. He helped Grace hold down one of his arms and pressed the needle against his skin. He looked at Timur one more time, his tears still flowing with snot covering his mouth.

“Maxim...i’m scared.” was his last plea.

“I know, Timur. But I need time…”

Maxim slowly pushed the needle inside and pushed the fluids inside, Timur felt it kicked in almost immediately, his body finally gave out and fell unconscious. Maxim balled up his fist and stormed out the room, he slammed the door behind and shouted in the halls. Gustave flopped in his chair and let it roll him to the countertop.

“I can handle it here, try to calm down Maxim.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure, i’m a pro with dealing with dumbasses. Literally had to pull a pot off of Julien’s fatass head two weeks ago, leave Timur to me.” Yumiko and Grace shrugged their shoulders and followed Maxim back to his barracks, they saw him in front of Timur’s dresser, holding the picture of him and his uncle. He put it back and leaned against Timur’s and Shuhrat bunk beds.

“Dammit...DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT! IT’S JUST CONSTANT BACK AND FORTH! ...i’m not getting anywhere, even with the information I have! Please...anything, GIVE ME ANYTHING THAT’LL TELL ME WHY HE’S AVOIDING ME!” He shouted, punching the bed but heard a light thud on the floor.

“Something dropped.” Nokk spoke, Maxim wasn’t scared for once but saw Grace hiding behind Yumiko, she had a pot and wooden spoon pointed against her. Maxim turned his attention to the bed as he reached his arm under it and pulled out another sketchbook, the cover on it was different than the one he usually uses. Maxim sat down and opened it, the first page was a drawing of him and Timur.

“I remember this, it was our second mission together after I got to know him. It made things easier that he communicated with me. We were in a rain forest hunting down some terrorist group based on the information we gathered. I wasn’t having the greatest day cause we were caught in the rain, but Timur sketching the environment and watching him pleased me. But I don’t remember him using this book nor was this the thing he drew.”

“Well, it’s just a book-”

“But he left them out if anyone wanted to see, this one was hidden.” Maxim finished, he continued going through the pages, some more sketches, some in colored. But they were all the same, just him and Timur in places they went to from missions through the years or just them in general. He got to the end of the book with one last drawing, he remembered that event. Dominic threw the Spetsnaz a little party because he felt bad about their reputation, he knew they were good people and wanted to give them a chance. They went out to a small bar and invited other operators to join, he remembered watching Monika and Alex compete against each other in a drink-off. But it was near the end that was important, Maxim could hold his alcohol and barely gets drunk from a few bottles. Someone made a dare to Timur to give Maxim a kiss on his cheek, Timur laughed and went with it as everyone chanted kiss. Maxim didn’t mind the little gesture either, he remembered how it felt. Timur’s soft lips pressing his cheek, his light beard stubble rubbing against his face, such a warm kiss, it had been a while since someone ever gave him a kiss. Maxim pulled him out the tender memory and back to the drawing.

“Hello, earth to Maxim?” Grace called.

“This drawing…”

“Yeah?”

“It’s...completed. It’s colored, shaded properly and he gave more details in it compared to the others. Wait…” Maxim covered his mouth he, finally pieced it together. Why Timur didn’t say anything, it's not that Timur couldn't trust him, it’s that he’s afraid to tell him. He’s afraid of rejection, that he wouldn't return his feelings.

“I FIGURED IT OUT!”

“You have?”

“Yes. First, I have no doubt now that Timur’s gay. But he hasn’t said anything because of his trauma he experienced as a teenager, him killing his uncle. He saw the horrors of what happens to same sex couples which forced him to hide it away from people. Whenever he thought of his real self, his head reminded him of what happened. But it got out of control and must have kept resurfacing regardless of what he was thinking. Then let’s come to the present, he couldn’t trust Alex and Shuhrat because he thought they’ll turn on him, afraid they’ll see him differently and possibly hate him. He couldn’t trust them so he went to Tina...that part I still don't know but the important part is that he seeked their help. But the fight we had lost him their help, only to have himself to really rely on. But him causing more problems mixed with his nightmare destroyed his mental state and infected his health. Then it came to me...he has been avoiding me because he sees me different, he loves me but he was afraid. He was afraid of either i’ll turn on him or reject his feelings. So he decided to keep our friendship rather than risk getting it destroyed, but him keeping those feelings inside and not being able to express them also damaged his mind. Even if I ended up with someone else, he was willing to accept that as long I was still a part of his life. Timur…”

“With that all figured out, what will be your next move, Maxim?” Yumiko asked.

“...only one thing to do. Yumiko, Grace, Nokk, thank you all for your help. If Alex and Shuhrat comes back, tell him i’ll be back and Timur will be fine.” Maxim told, giving them all a smile as he took his and Timur’s coat. He returned to the ER and saw that Timur was wide awake, but he was at his limit. He looked at Gustave who was raising a brow when he saw the coats, Maxim handed Timur his and told him to follow him. He didn’t try to fight back, he just did what Maxim told him to do. The whole trip felt like a blur to Timur, before he knew it he was at the park. The same park where they had their first conversation four years ago. Timur looked up to the sky, it was cloudy with light snow falling, painting the ground white as the snow twinkled with light from the lamp post.

“You remember this spot, Timur?”

“...it’s where I talked to you the first time…”

“And you asked me if you can draw me. I laughed and said to buy me dinner first, that’s something i’ll never forget.” He said. Maxim gave him a smile, Timur couldn’t help but to smile back. Timur gripped his head, it felt like forever since he smiled at someone.

“Hey, i’m sorry. I’m sorry for whatever I did to lose your trust, i’m sorry I tried to force it out of you. I’m sorry I ruined your chance of getting help. I’m sorry for anything else I caused that made you what you are now, Timur. I was so concerned of your well-being that my mind told me to only get the answer, doesn’t matter how I got it without thinking how it could affect you. I...know I can’t do anything, but I want to tell you I’ll get Alex and Shuhrat and we’ll apologize to the Canadians so they can help you with your problem. I just want you to be safe and healthy because it pains me to see you like this, Timur-”

“No…”

“W-what?”

“No, no, no, no, no! It’s not your fault Maxim, it was never your fault. You done nothing wrong, it’s me! It has always been me and I can’t sit here and watch you blame yourself for the problems I caused. Maxim I-I-” Timur couldn’t finish his thoughts, Maxim saw he was panicking again so he pulled Timur in for a hug and stroked his head. Timur's eyes widened from the sudden comfort from Maxim, but he didn’t reject it. It was something he wanted from him for a very long time, Maxim pushed him a bit and looked at him.

“Timur, what happened to you?”

“I-if i’m going to say it...then I have to say something else first…” he said first, He pushed himself away a bit and fiddled with his thumbs. He looked at Maxim again and saw that he was still smiling, he just hoped that smile stays when he tells him how he feels.

“Maxim…”

“...”

“I...l-l-love y-you.” he finally expressed, despite already knowing, it was still a surprise to hear it from his mouth.

“Oh...well shit, i’m going to be honest. I...never tried with a man before so I hope I won’t fail your expectations.”

“W-what!? Really!?”

“It had crossed my mind about dating a guy, but dating in general was something I never saw myself doing. But first, we need to tackle this problem once and for all. Please, Timur.” Timur's face completely changed when Maxim brought it up again.

“But...It hurts...it hurts whenever I see it-”

“And I know that, but this has to stop and I’m with you now. I...don’t want my boyfriend to die thirty seconds after we just started dating.”

“Y-your...boyfriend!?”

“Those were the words that came out my mouth weren’t they?” Timur’s heart felt like it jumped twenty miles when Maxim referred to him as his boyfriend, now it’s only fair if he knows his past, his trauma. He took in a deep breath and started from the beginning.

“My mother died giving birth to me, so it has always been me and my dad. It was a hard time for him, trying to manage a steady job and raising me, wasn’t easy for someone working in the shipping industry. But my father behavior changed so suddenly one day, he would always bring back a friend from work and one day he introduced me to him-”

“Your uncle, what was his name?”

“...I don’t know, I was forced to forget him, erase him from my mind. I couldn’t erase his existence but I lost his name. Anyways, he gave me his name and was so kind. He was around my father’s age, pretty much enjoyed the same hobbies as my father too. He saw my artistic side when I was growing up and helped point me in the right direction, he was a part of my family, especially since he doesn’t talk about his. He babysit me, snagged me some books to advance my artistic skills, took me hunting once with my dad but stopped when my shoulder bone popped out from the weapon recoil. My dad saw him as a brother, so I saw him as an uncle, even remembered my dad saying he was a Glazkov. One night came when my dad stepped out for drinks and asked my uncle if I could stay at his place, he had no problem watching as we played some board games before bed. I woke up cause I heard a noise downstairs, I got curious and went to wake up my uncle but he was not in his room. I saw two shadows downstairs, they were getting close to each other. I creep down the stairs and made my way to the kitchen and saw them, my uncle was kissing another man. I gasped and they heard and saw me, the man was getting his coat on in a hurry. He was angry at my uncle, “you said he was asleep!?” he said, my uncle told him to hold on and took me to his table. He explained to me what he was, that he liked men and that was why I never saw him with a woman. He carefully explained to me that it was ok to be that way but to be quiet because he lives in a country that hates people like him. I looked at the man then back at my uncle, I revealed something to him that was on my mind. I told him I never felt anything when i’m around women, but I do around men. The man came over and whispered to him, he introduced himself to me and told me that he’s my uncle’s lover. He was taller than my uncle, had a bit of a beer gut, green eyes with fluffy blonde hair and beard. They would meet up around that time and be together, I asked if I could join them and they smiled and said yes. After they were done, they made me promise to never talk about this. I promised him, I didn’t want anything to happen to them...too bad it was unavoidable. I was...16 at the time, I was coming back from school one day and saw a crowd of people heading towards my street, I looked up and saw smoke-” Timur paused, his hand started to shake. Maxim took hold of it, locking his fingers with Timur’s to calm down.

“Thank you. I went to the street and saw my uncle’s home on fire, people were throwing violent slurs in the air. So much hate, so much rage and I didn’t know why. I was scared and I had every right to, I passed through the crowd and saw my uncle being held down and forced to watch his lover's face getting caved in. It was horrible, this is what he warned me. This country wasn’t beautiful if something as someone’s way of life causes this much blood, to drive someone to kill an innocent man. The person bashing his lover’s face in was my father, he spit on his face after he was finished. He then pulled over my uncle and threw him down, *sniffle* h-his arms...they w-were bruised and broken. He c-couldn’t defend himself, he had no choice but to let my father punch him over and over. I wanted to help b-but if I helped, t-they would have gotten suspicious of me. My father then pulled me over and placed a rock in my hand, my father gave my uncle a choice. Tell him if any more of him were around, there was another one, me. My uncle knew that and kept quiet, my father placed me on t-top of him and then-” The images of his past came back, the pain he felt, tears streamed again. Maxim cupped Timur’s face and pushed his head against his, despite him still crying, he found even more comfort than before.

“I killed him, I-I took his l-life from him. I don’t even recognize his face in my head anymore, and what he said to me, was it really what he said o-or I lied I told myself and he said something worse. Did he hate me!? Is he cursing my name!? Those w-were the questions I constantly asked myself for years! Everytime the nightmare reappears, I wake up with those questions and it tears me apart and I’ll never get my answer!” Timur finally admitted what was wrong, being stuck in confusion and guilt ate away his heart and mind. Maxim gripped his hand tighter and pulled Timur closer.

“...Timur, listen to me. I need you to think of the incident.”

“M-Maxim, please. I don’t want to put it ba-”

“But you have to, just...close your eyes and go back before you killed your uncle, trust me!”

“...ok. *sniffle* ok, I-I’m back before I killed him…”

“Ok, pause it. Now, what do you see?”

“The angry mob...my father encouraging me to kill my uncle…”

“Look at your uncle-”

“I DON’T WANT TO, MAXIM!”

“BUT YOU HAVE TO, TIMUR! Look at him, look at his face.” Maxim told him, but all he saw was a blurriness on top of his uncle’s face.

“I...can’t-”

“You can, listen to my voice. Forget what's around you, only think of you and your uncle.”

“O-ok…”

“Now, look at him. What was on his face?” He asked, Timur fought against his head to remove the blurriness of his uncle’s face. But a part of him wanted it to stay hidden, he doesn’t want the chance of it showing anger, distrust, hate. But Maxim’s words were gently caressing his mind, giving him the courage to remove the blurriness and saw that his uncle was smiling.

“It was...it was...a smile?” He answered, despite his beaten face, his smile was just like when they first met. Warm, loving, innocent.

“Maxim...he’s smiling!”

“Knowing that he was smiling at you, do you think he hated you?”

“No...he doesn’t. W-wait, give me a moment.” He asked, Timur rubbed his head to make it more clear. He remembered something his uncle told him before his death, Timur repeated it so Maxim could hear it.

“ **Timur, this will be our last conversation with each other, so i’ll say this well I have the chance. Timur, it was my greatest pleasure to be a part of your family and watch you grow. I was happy when your father introduced us, I honestly was hoping I could see what you’ll become in the future but it seems I don’t have that luxury right now. Please, don’t think I hate you. I couldn’t expose you to these people, to have your life cut at such a young age. I lived my life, but you haven’t. You’re not them, you’re not hate. You’ll be something no one in this country won’t ever be. Don’t be like them, run when you have a chance. I’ll miss you, Timur. Now hurry, I don’t want them to suspect you for anything.** That’s...what he said''

“He never hated you, he loved you. He chose to end his life to keep yours going.”

“Yeah, he did and now I know what he felt, why he never told me of his family. I..told my father the truth and it...led to disownment and it led my other family to do the same. I felt...alone, then I remembered I have you.”

“And i’m not going anywhere, i’ll be by your side.”

“Thank you, Maxim. I understand what my uncle felt when he befriended my father...just wished he had the same results as me…”

“He’s in a better place now. As for us, we should get to a warmer place.”

“Ha...haha...hahahahahahaha.”

“Now that’s something I haven’t heard in a while, come on.” Maxim took hold of Timur’s hand again as they returned but to the base and to their barracks. The clock showed that it was midnight but didn’t see Alex or Shuhrat.

“Guess they’re somewhere else? Hmmm, what’s wrong?”

“Just...your black eyes, are you sure they’re fine?”

“You’re worrying about me when you look like a raccoon?”

“Ok, ok, i’ll shut up. We better get changed.” The pair stripped down and changed into more night appropriate.

“Ok, you make sure to sleep long, you hear me?”

“...Maxim?”

“Yes?”

“...can you sleep with me, please? I rather not sleep alone tonight…”

“Of course, come here.” Maxim made room on his bed for Timur as he came over laid next to time, didn’t take Timur long to turn around and grab hold of Maxim’s body and bury his face in his chest. Maxim wrapped his arm around him and ran his fingers through Timur’s short black hair, but he noticed Timur’s face. He was still on the fence about something, he was forcing himself to calm down but it wasn’t working.

“What’s wrong, Timur?”

“Just...I really wish he was here right now. He came into my head again and I didn’t want to sleep with the thought in my head, sorry…”

“It’s ok, i’m here to help you. Actually, I have an idea.” Maxim slowly leaned down closer to Timur’s face, Timur willfully allowed Maxim to connect their lips together. Maxim’s lips were a bit chapped well Timur’s tasted like snot, they both paused and laughed, to think their first kiss would taste so odd.

“Maybe we should have showered before bed, but It was still enjoyable, what about you?”

“Of course, I...always wanted to kiss you again since the party Dominic threw.”

“Well, expect them a lot from here on out, but for now I want you to sleep for a long, long, time, Timur. I don’t even want to see you up in the morning, got it?”

“...”

“Timur?”

“*Snores*”

“(He’s already asleep, I better get to sleep my...self…)”

During that night, the two finally rested like they haven’t slept in years. Maxim doesn’t have to worry about Timur avoiding to sleep well Timur didn’t experience the nightmare that was destroying his well being. The next morning felt like a fresh year when Maxim woke with Timur still by his side, he was still holding onto Maxim’s body with a smile on his face. He gently removed himself off of Timur and yawned, he heard someone cough on purpose to grab his attention. Maxim soon saw Alex and Shuhrat looking at him with a smug look on their faces, Maxim couldn’t help but look away and turn red.

“So, is this what you two did last night?” Shuhrat asked as he made suggestive hand signs, Maxim stuck his middle finger before getting off his bed.

“How is he?”

“He’ll be ok, we don’t have to worry about his health anymore. But let him sleep, he needs it.”

“Well...I guess if you fixed it then I will but I wished I knew what was wrong with him.”

“He’ll tell you two soon, Alex.”

“Well it’s going to be later, me and Shuhrat are being deployed. I...just wanted to make sure he was safe, *sigh* ok, let’s go Shuhrat.”

“Don’t blow anything up!”

“No promises.” Shuhrat shot back, the door shut behind them as Maxim showered and went to the ER to report back to Gustave. He saw him in his chair looking irritated with a snapped pen in his hands.

“What’s wrong?”

“Them!” he viciously pointed to Marasu and Erik whose hands were glued together.

“I don’t get paid enough for their idiocy. Anyways, how’s Timur?”

“I got him to sleep and thank god I did, I didn’t want to lose him.”

“Oh! Then if you can do me a favor, can you ask him to come by so I can run some tests? Considering that he’s reasonable he’ll listen to me, i’ll be sure to give something to reduce his stress levels as well.”

“Sure, once he’s awake i’ll send him over. Thank you for helping me, Gustave.”

“No problem. Now if you’ll excuse, I have tiddle-brainless and tiddle--dumbass to take care of.” Maxim couldn’t help but laugh with how much idiocy he deals with on the daily, Maxim will be sure to treat him to something one day for his help. He returned to the barracks and saw Yumiko and Grace watching over Timur, he walked over to him as his heart melted that Timur’s smile was still on his face.

“He looks so peaceful, how did you do?”

“Just helped him confront his trauma...and accepted him as my boyfriend.”

“Grroosss, lovey-dovey shit. But i’m honestly relieved that this is over.” Grace expressed.

“Yes, now we just let him sleep for as long as he wants.”

“Yeah, maybe he’ll wake up in a few hours or so, I can’t wait for- Oh fucking god, Maxim. Timur has been asleep for four whole days!” Grace pointed out, Maxim and Yumiko noticed it too and even called Gustave to check if anything was wrong.

“Well doc?”

“Hmmm, heartbeat is normal, his skin is no longer pale. The bags and dark circles are still there but they are showing signs of going away, Timur...is fine, just extremely sleep deprived. This is an extreme case but if I had to guess when he’ll wake up, i’ll say...now.” he predicted, Timur's face moved and his eyes opened. He yawned like a dog as he looked around to see his friends around him.

“Morning everyone, what’s *yawn* the occasion?”

“The occasion is that you slept for four days straight concerning us all!”

“W-What!? Four days!? I didn’t miss anything have I!?”

“You have but I explained on your behalf, even gave them a medical pardon for you. Whelp, since he’s awake then my job is down. Timur, be sure to stop by so I could monitor you if you may?”

“S-sure.” he said, Yumiko and Gustave stepped out as Maxim offered his hand to him. He pulled him over to him into his loving embrace as they couldn’t help but kiss and laugh.

“Gross, i’m still here!”

“You’re in our barracks!”

“Blah, i’m gonna go but first, here.”

“What is it?”

“Maxim told me you forgot your uncle’s name, so I did some digging and found out his name was Nevinny. I...hope that helps, see you too. Oh, talk to Julien, he keeps coming into my barracks and asking if you’re alright, it’s annoying.” She said before leaving, Maxim laughed as he saw Timur walk up to the picture on his dresser. Maxim placed his hand on his shoulder as Timur rubbed the frame.

“Thank you, Nevinny. Ugh!” Timur grabbed his stomach as it growled intensely from hunger, he has been asleep for four days. Maxim was going to take him to the mess hall, but their door burst opened with Julien holding Grace and Yumiko in his arms.

“TIMUR! Doc told me you were probably hungry, so me and Monika made you some food. Come, come!”

“GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!” Grace screamed but Julien just laughed, Julien moved aside as Monika came in with a catering kart with German cuisines on it.

“Didn’t feel like waiting so I brought it to you, hope you don’t mind?”

“No...I don’t, let’s eat everyone!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for those who were interest in the story, I might do more in the future but for now, I see y'all later

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going back to work on my other story, so don't expect the second half anytime soon. But know i'm a fast writer, so don't think it'll be too long.


End file.
